Merry Christmas to You!!!

Merry Christmas to all of you! There is so much to be grateful for this year, so I will share what stands out to me and what's on my mind today.

First of all my thoughts and prayers go out to my mother and sister. My mom is very sick right now and in the hospital. The doctors are trying to figure out what is wrong, so in the interim she is being treated as appropriately as possible. She has had a rough December, she broke her ankle a few weeks ago before this latest illness. My sister is doing the best she can right now to support my mother and is doing a great job.

On a happier note, close friends of ours had a daughter last week. It was wonderful to see a new life come into the world, especially this time of year. Mackenzie Rose Meyer was born on December 17th and mother, father, and baby are all very well.

Christmas Eve is a special day for my family. We have been able to create new traditions which we all love. No one feels an unnecessary sense of duty or obligation, we enjoy this day together. I love the movies we watch, the chili, and the gifts but we could do anything and I would enjoy it as much.

I hope you are spending today with the people you love most. If you are unable to for any reason, make it a point to share today with them in some way; a thought, a prayer, or a phone call. Have a holiday filled with love and peace and have fun!

Christmas (and A New Beginning) Is Upon Us

Last night my daughter informed my wife and me that she no longer believes in Santa Claus. This was no great shock, she's about to be eleven and has shown little interest in the jolly old elf for a few years. She still loves Christmas and has lead the way with house decorations, music, and general holiday spirit.

For me it was validation that I am entering a new phase of parenthood. As Shelby continues to mature and expands her interests, I am excited about the growth of our relationship. I love finding new ground on which we can relate and have discussions. I love her developing opinions and perspectives, she's a pretty sharp person.

We continue to have our disagreements and petty little arguments sometimes and I certainly can continue to work on letting go of the idea that she is still a little girl. However, I am eternally grateful to know Shelby. She is an incredible spirit and brings tremendous joy to my life. Wendy and I feel very fortunate.

This is a special Christmas for my family for many reasons. It seems to be the year of conscious perspective shifts. It has been an incredible journey and I look forward to seeing what's around the bend. In the mean time, I will remain present and enjoy the moment.

Learn From Tiger:Power Equals Responsibility

Certainly there have been plenty of pundits weighing in on the indiscretions of Tiger Woods. Now, it's my turn. It seems people are shocked whenever someone in the public eye is found to be less than perfect, particularly when the person in question is viewed as being super-human. Time and time again those who are lifted to the pedestal of greatness come crashing down. Hard.

This year alone Tiger Woods, the Georgia House Speaker Glenn Richardson, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, and former quarterback Steve McNair have faced unimaginable consequences for extra-marital affairs. All of these men have children: Tiger Woods has two children, Glenn Richardson has three children, Mark Sanford has four children, and Steve McNair is survived by four children.

There will be plenty of people who defend the actions of these men with statements illustrating the "unreasonable" expectations the public places on those in prominent positions. I disagree with this notion. I believe it is an honor to excel at something to the degree that others wish to reach the level of the example you set. I write and speak about relationships. I spend my time coaching and counseling people on the importance of making deep and meaningful connections with others. I believe that there is nothing more sacred than the trust built between people based on shared convictions, definitions of happiness, and love. In my experience there are few things more destructive than the breach of this trust.

Human beings are fallible. "Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone" is a quote that speaks volumes. So is: "power = responsibility." For anyone hoping to someday be elevated to a position of great authority or influence, remember people rely on you. They don't necessarily depend on you being perfect but they certainly should expect honesty, humility, and responsibility. Oh, by the way, be honest before you are caught.

Steve McNair was murdered by his mistress. He left behind a wife and four kids. Glenn Richardson was so petrified by potential backlash that he attempted to take his own life. He is the father of three children. There is no viable excuse for infidelity. It is time for people to realize that in any relationship, particularly in relationships with your family, there are responsibilities to those with whom you are involved. No one is bullet proof.

Maybe Tiger Woods will work out his relationship with his wife. Perhaps Glenn Richardson will seek help. Mark Sanford may find his way. Steve McNair is dead. The reality these men share is that their children are forever affected by their actions. These situations have permanently altered how they as men and as fathers will be viewed. Not by us, the public, but by their families. They are who matter.

Take this opportunity to express to anyone in your life how much you love them. Let them know that despite your imperfections they can trust you. Convey with clarity and conviction that you will attempt to better yourself when you become aware of your shortcomings.

So Far, So Good

I must say, this holiday season has been a blast. Thanksgiving was fun, the tree is up and decorated, and we now await our annual Christmas Party and the arrival of jolly old St.Nick.

I actually decorated the house the weekend after Halloween, I couldn't wait. This certainly has helped me stay more relaxed. Some may not appreciate my lighting skills, but my family loves it and that's what matters to me. Our tree is beautiful and the process of decorating it was spread out over a few days. Again, an anxiety reliever.

I have been committed to making the holidays of 2009 an enjoyable time. I love my family and I love this time of year. The last thing I want to be is a stressed out controlling bastard who sabotages Christmas for everyone. Up to now, mission accomplished. Sharing this motivates me to continue this process. Thanks for reading!

Gratitude Post #6

Alas, we have reached the final week of gratitude posts. I hope you have enjoyed this tradition as much as I have. I also hope this has helped you to see your life with a little better perspective. Let's all commit to stay more aware of the good in our lives and help to share that with others. Week 6, here goes:

1. I am grateful to be physically, spiritually, and mentally healthy and fit
2. I am grateful to have a beautiful family to share my life with
3. I am grateful to have crossed paths with so many wonderful people
4. I am grateful for all of the vocational opportunities I have
5. I am grateful for the perspective I have gained from some trying experiences in my life

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and Holiday season. Take the time to share joy and happiness with anyone you come across. This is one way we can all make a difference.

Gratitude Post #5

Wow, this is #5! Unbelievable, for this project there is one more post next week. I'll say it again, but thanks to everyone who has participated. Maybe we can think of something for the upcoming holiday season? I, for one, will be posting tips every day between Thanksgiving and Christmas, so stay posted! So on with the gratitude!

1. I am grateful to be able to connect with people through collective gratitude
2. I am grateful to have so much support in pursuing my dreams
3. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to live in so many places in our beautiful country
4. I am grateful so many people are willing to share their experiences in order to benefit others
5. In deference to my blog post yesterday, I am grateful for my chickens!

I look forward to reading your posts soon!

Gratitude Post #4

In this, my latest installment of the Gratitude post, I am going to focus on some aspects of my work that I absolutely love. I can’t wait to see yours!

1. I am grateful to be in a line of work that allows me to build lasting relationships with some extremely interesting people
2. I am grateful I constantly have the opportunity to provide support and guidance to folks who are always looking for ways to improve themselves
3. I am grateful my job involves a lot of laughter
4. I am grateful I get the constant reminder that no matter what I place value on, my success and happiness will ultimately be defined by the relationships I build and maintain
5. I am grateful I get to share my thoughts of gratitude with you because I know for right now we are connected by appreciation

I hope you get the opportunity to pass it on. The more people we have thinking about gratitude, the better.

Raised Bed Update

It's been a little while since I've given a raised bed update, so here goes. As always, the video version is below.

In our raised beds we have planted lettuce, carrots, radishes, spinach, turnips, onions, mustard greens, broccoli, and brussels sprouts. So far we have eaten lettuce and radishes. We are looking forward to harvesting more soon. It is a joy to extend our growing season, I love having fresh produce from our yard.

We also have four chickens and this week they have begun laying eggs. Our urban homesteading adventure has taken off and we are very excited! BTW, I am a big fan of autumn in Georgia and have included a couple of bonus photos.

Gratitude Post #3

As a reminder to all of you, I am continuing a tradition I learned about last year from Tia Graham. The tradition is posting a five item gratitude list every Wednesday up toThanksgiving. So far there are several others joining in, so enjoy reading, and hopefully participating, in the spread of gratitude. Here's my list for the week:

1. I am grateful there are so many ways to meet and connect with people today
2. I am grateful I have had the opportunity to attend several events this year at which I have met so many new and fantastic people
3. I am grateful for the smell, taste, and effect of my absolute favorite beverage......COFFEE!!!!
4. I am grateful to be alive at a time when there are so many technological breakthroughs
5. I am grateful for my wife's discovery and research in to urban homesteading. The garden and the chickens have provided many family bonding opportunities and endless entertainment!

I can't wait to read your lists, they are an inspiration!

Gratitude Installment #2

As a reminder to all of you, I am continuing a tradition I learned about last year from Tia Graham. The tradition is posting a five item gratitude list every Wednesday up toThanksgiving. So far there are several others joining in, so enjoy reading, and hopefully participating, in the spread of gratitude. Here's my list for the week:

1. I am grateful to have seen Neuschwanstein in the Alps shrouded in fog
2. I am grateful to be learning to scuba dive
3. I am grateful I live in beautiful North Georgia
4. I am grateful to have seen Bayern München in person
5. I am grateful for the wonderful unschooling community (thank you for the support and inspiration)

I know I'm a day early, but I had the opportunity!

41?

Today is my 41st birthday. Someone asked me earlier today if I "felt" 41. Interesting question. I realize the implied question was "Do you feel old?" I remember asking people the same question when I was younger. My, how things have changed!

As I enter my middle-age years, I realize I have no clue what aging is supposed to "feel" like. Sure, there are physical differences, unfamiliar life challenges, and the growing cognizance of mortality. C'est la vie.

I actually LOVE my 40's so far. I have discovered much about myself in the past couple of years. The cumulative life experience combined with my unwillingness to grow up has made life extremely fun. My wife, daughter, and I have found so much recent adventure. My life is filled with wonderful relationships and fresh perspectives. I am actually looking forward to what's around the corner more now than at any other time in my life.

For those younger, there is much to look forward to. To those who are older, thank you for blazing an amazing trail. For everyone, as we continue to venture along the path of this glorious life, let's continue to guide, teach, and share through all of our experiences!

Share the Gratitude!

Last year I got the idea to write a weekly gratitude post on my blog leading up to Thanksgiving. I read about it on another blog and loved the idea. Sandra Dodd joined me, and this year I would love as many people to participate as possible. Let's link up our blogs and share the gratitude.

Do whatever feels good to you, what I am going to do is post 5 things I am grateful for every Wednesday leading up to Thanksgiving. It's a fun tradition I hope you will share with me! So here I go:

1. I am grateful for my wonderful family
2. I am grateful I get to participate in so many groups
3. I am grateful I have so much support from friends
4. I am grateful I live in Georgia and get to experience these beautiful fall days
5. I am grateful I get so many opportunities for adventure

It is a joy to share my gratitude with as many people as possible. I look forward to reading everything you share!

A New Diving Adventure!

This post is from our latest diving adventure on the way home from Disneyworld. We stayed in Gainesville, FL. because it put us close to some great spring dive spots. Devil's Den is close by as are Ginnie Springs and the place we wound up, Troy Springs.

If you check out the link for Devil's Den, you'll be able to see why we decided to move on. It is a great place but as inexperienced divers it was a little dark for us. Maybe we'll go back some other time. We didn't have time to visit Ginnie Springs and found out Shelby was too young to dive there anyway. Oh well, on to Troy Springs!

Our day started off at the Extreme Exposure dive shop in High Springs, FL. This is where we rented our tanks and weights. The folks there were great. They were extremely helpful and patient. They were also able to give us some useful information about different versions of buoyancy control devices. One of the things I love about diving is that there are a lot of helpful people. It's a fun little sub-culture!

When we arrived at Troy Springs, we were pretty excited. It was a week day, so we unschoolers pretty much had the place to ourselves. As is the case with the other springs we have visited, the water was very chilly. It was about 68 degrees. It was a hot Florida day, so the cool water was refreshing at first.

On both the dives we went on, we didn't go very deep. There was a giant hole that probably went to a depth of 70'. The rest of the pool was between 4' and 10'. There was a slope leading into the hole but none of us had the intestinal fortitude to investigate. We saw a bunch of turtles and several fish. The real treat at Troy Springs is a sunken Confederate ship. The Confederate army sank the boat in order for it to not be captured by the northern army. The boat is close to the river so we were able to drift in the current to see the boat. It was a definite highlight.

It was great to be able to stay under water for an extended period of time and gain more experience with our equipment. We all get more comfortable each time we have the opportunity to dive. Troy Springs was a lot of fun and worth the trip. I love being able to share these experiences and look forward to sharing many more. Until next time!

Great Week, Glad to Be Home

I love our family's Disney week tradition. Every year we pack up, drive to Orlando, and enjoy a sweet escape. For the Stonebraker family there are few things as enjoyable as a week with the mouse. It also provides me with an opportunity to reflect on the previous year.

One way our family life is different is that we took up scuba diving. On our way home from Disney, we stopped at a place in Florida called Troy Springs State Park. It was fun. We didn't dive very deep but we were able to spend some significant time under water getting used to our equipment. The other thing I love about learning to dive is that it has introduced us to another wonderful culture. The diving community is as rich and diverse as any other group our family is a part of.

I'll write more about our latest dive experience in another post, in this one I want to focus on growth. This has been an incredibly educational year for me. I have made some changes in my professional life and continued to push myself in personal growth as well. I decided a while ago that I needed to expand my horizons a bit and although it is uncomfortable at times, there have been many payoffs. I appreciate the close relationships in my life more, I certainly feel more gratitude for my family, and I am much more focused on continuing to challenge myself rather than settle for the status quo.

I am more sure today than I ever have been about what is important to me. I want to experience as much as possible. I never want my fear to stop me from pursuing my goals. I want to rise above the seductive pull of succumbing to the judgment of others. What does this have to do with Disney? To me Disney, in its essence, represents all of these characteristics and more.

Every year on my family trip to Disneyworld I relax, have fun, and gain perspective. I see the world from a child-like view and a lot of things become possible. I am reminded that this is the only life I will live and the priority is to live in joy.

First Day of an Awesome Week

My family and me are in Orlando for our annual Disneyworld trip. We look forward to it every year. This is the stuff I love writing about and sharing with people. I enjoy my life so much and love talking about it.

This year we are staying at the Pop Century resort.

It's fun because it is huge and always packed with families. No matter what time of day, there is always a din of laughter, running around, and playing. The buzz is constant.

We spent our first day at Discovery Cove. Even though it isn't "Disney", it is spectacular! Discovery Cove has a snorkeling pool, a pool in which you can hang out with rays, and its pinnacle attraction: the dolphin swim. It's the second time we've done it, but it was just as fun as ever.

The day ended with going to the show, La Nouba. Any Cirque du Soleil show is amazing, and this one did not disappoint. The physical skills these performers display are sensational. It was a great show. If you ever have the chance to see La Nouba, I would definitely recommend it.

This is definitely one of my favorite times of year. Coming to Disney in the fall is a great way to celebrate the year and lead into the holiday season. We love it.

P.S. Here is a link to my Flickr page if you want to see more photos!

Raised Beds- Day 4, Job Well Done

Video below.

Well, we're finally finished. After almost a month, with a vacation in the middle, our raised bed project is complete! We put the finishing touches on bed number three, moved 12 yards of dirt, and planted the seeds. Wendy said, "This is the biggest project we've undertaken since having a child!" She's absolutely right.

No one would ever accuse us as being the "handy" family, but we were certainly ambitious. We had committed ourselves to getting this completed and we did. Good for us! Everyone contributed and we will all benefit. I look forward to our first harvest, I will certainly share it with you!

Diving Adventures!

As always, there is a video below if you prefer!

The Back Story

Shelby,Wendy, and I have been going through the process of scuba certification. We finally got certified almost two weeks ago. It was a challenge at times, but very gratifying when we completed the training. We took our PADI course through a local dive shop, Underwater Adventure. They were very helpful, I'm grateful Wendy and Shelby found them.

One of the reasons we pushed to complete our certification course before last week was because of the family vacation we had planned. We were taking our annual trip to Okaloosa Island, Florida and wanted to dive in the Gulf of Mexico. This whole idea of scuba diving is very new to us, we had never talked about it before a few months ago! So we rented our gear and off we went!

The first day in Florida, Wendy called to set up our first dive. We found a place in Panama City that could take us out to some jetties. Apparently this is great for beginning divers, they refer to it as "the kiddie pool." As luck would have it, Wendy became ill and we had to postpone our dive.

Wendy's illness lasted a couple of days and toward the end of it, the weather went south. By the time she was feeling better, the shop where we had planned our dive cancelled their trips due to low visibility. We were bummed. Little did we know the proverbial silver lining to the cloud which was coming our way!

After a little research we decided to look at Vortex Spring. Our local shop takes trips there,

so we had at least heard of it. We called and found out it probably suited what we were looking for a little bit better anyway. We made our plans and off we went!

Dive Summary

We originally planned three dives. Shelby's certification only allows her to go 40', so we planned our dives for 35'. In our dive plan (refer to the PADI site if you need an explanation) we set up for three 30 minute dives with 30 minute surface intervals in between. Again, refer to PADI for a real explanation but basically the surface interval is to make sure there isn't too much nitrogen in your blood. Feel free to comment if I am wrong!

One of the points of planning a dive is to make sure you are safe and know where your parameters are. This way you can have a lot more fun without having to burden yourself with unnecessary worry. "Plan well Kimosabe," a wise man once said! Things may not always go exactly to plan, but you will be a lot more secure.

Our first dive was fun. It took me a minute to get comfortable with my buoyancy control, I didn't have an instructor there cajoling me. We settled in at about 6' where we all adjusted. From there we swam off and explored. Vortex is beautiful. The water is 68 degrees year round and crystal clear. There are caves and other places to swim through, along with a wide variety of fish. We looked at fish, swam around, and had a good time. Our maximum depth on dive # 1 was 20' and we stayed down for 30 minutes.

Our second dive was also an adventure. We swam to the opening of the spring, which apparently goes to a depth of around 150'. It was a little freaky looking into the abyss! We were all a lot more comfortable, we swam around much more freely. On this dive, Shelby had a little trouble equalizing (ask our friend PADI) so we mainly stayed at around 12' to 15'. Our maximum depth on this dive was 25' and we saw a lot more. We stayed down about 33 minutes on this dive, we had to surface once for Shelby's ears to feel better.

In Closing

All three of us loved the entire experience. Everything worked out exactly as it needed to. Even Wendy's unfortunate illness enabled us to wind up at Vortex.

We are already looking forward to our next dive. Maybe we'll try the gulf again, maybe some more spring or quarry diving. Either way, we have found another activity we all love which opens the door of adventure even wider!

Raised Beds- Day 3

Again, if you prefer, the video version is below.

Technically this was probably the fourth or fifth day, but who's counting. We worked on bed #2 for about an hour two days during the week.

This bed was particularly challenging since the slope increases downhill. However, we were able to meet these challenges and continue to make progress.

I love what we are doing. This has involved the entire family and there are several gratifying moments as we meet and overcome obstacles. I am looking forward to getting the seeds in the ground and reaping the fruits of our labors! Either way, we are enjoying ourselves and learning a lot. I hope you enjoy tracking our progress, I'll keep posting about this until we have the project completed. Until next time, happy building!

Raised Beds- Day 2

This is the latest installment of Project:Raised Beds. If you prefer, there is a video version below.

We have finally completed the first bed. This is by far the most ambitious project we have taken on, but I am really enjoying myself. Where we are placing the beds, on a major slope, is bringing up several challenges. There are a few places that wind up being a little off, but the beds will still be very functional.

The only things left to do on the first bed are installing the PVC pipe, filling in the gaps, laying down some newspaper, and putting in the soil. We are going to get some good organic soil as soon as all of the beds are ready. I am loving this and can't wait to finish!

Raised Beds- Day 1

Wendy and I decided to build some raised garden beds. We have been growing some of our own vegetables for a few years, but with the inspiration of some friends have decided to increase our production. Our family has become progressively more conscious of what we eat and how we purchase food, so this is a logical step. It falls in line with our new "urban homesteading"attitude. We've also begun raising chickens, so you can probably catch my drift. Enough back story!

Wendy has done the majority of the research. She found a lot of great sites with good, easy to follow instructions. Of course we are facing several obstacles along the way; we're building the beds on a slope, it's the dead of summer, and we're not the handiest family in the world!

We are having fun, though. Right now we are focused on getting the first bed completely finished.We are building three in total. All of the beds will be 4' wide by 14' long. Our goal is to be able to fill them in this weekend so we can begin sowing some seeds for fall crops. We are installing PVC pipe so we can have hoops over the beds to be able to grow through the winter. For us this is all a little ambitious, but I love a good stretch. If you would rather see the video version, check below!

A Wonderful Time

It has been an amazing couple of weeks. Things at Insight have been great, I am continuing to learn more and more about presenting as a speaker, and I continue to connect with some amazing people. Most importantly two events have clarified why life is so joyous.

First, my beautiful daughter, Shelby, turned 10 years old.She is an amazing child. Her intelligence and spirit allow Wendy and me the opportunity to connect with her in ways beyond the capacity of someone Shelby's age. These 10 years have been incredible. Every day is a beautiful experience. Thank you Shelby.

Second, my good friends, Glen and Shannon Schendel, welcomed their first child into the world. She is a beautiful 9lb. baby girl. I look forward to getting to know her and forming our relationship. Glen and Shannon will be wonderful parents, their daughter is a lucky girl. I figured this was an appropriate picture for this post. I am sitting here tonight filled with gratitude. I hope you are, too.

Clear Purpose

I am posting to clarify the purpose of this blog. I haven't posted here for awhile because I haven't been sure of what I want it to be. My other blog that I post on regularly is great and it's very personal. However I leave a lot of family details and other personal tidbits out of it because its point is to reach a broader audience.

I love to write about my life. I love to write about my life in detail. There are certain places where that is not appropriate. That is where this blog comes in. I love my family. I love discussing unschooling. I love to discuss the whimsical, weird, and fun stuff we get into. I want to do this without having to think too much about it. So, thanks for letting me share and I look forward to connecting with all of you more and more.