I Am That Dad!!!!

Shelby At Life Is Good 2010

Oh, sweet Jesus am I "that dad!" This picture should tell you a little bit, but I'll take it a few steps further for the sake of clarity:

• I am "that dad" who likes his daughter and is pretty sure the feeling is reciprocated. 
• I am "that dad" who dropped out of high school and is eternally grateful for that decision.
• I am "that dad" who believes the parent/child relationship is about the relationship between two autonomous human beings, not a power play to show who's boss or a way to form a person into my image.
• I am "that dad" who thinks spare the rod/spoil the child was a child rearing philosophy created by a d******* f*** so insecure about his own place in the world, he felt it necessary to bully a person for whom he was supposed to provide protection.
• I am "that dad" who is looking forward to his daughter's teenage years
• I am "that dad" who sees every day as an opportunity to become closer to his family
• I am "that dad" who f***s up more than he would like but can admit his shortcomings

I love this carnival! It got me all fired up, my list could be endless. Thanks for the idea Ronnie and Flo!

What I Get To Learn Every Day

I love the typical "day in the life" I get to experience as an unschooling dad. For example, I stay connected through Facebook, blogs, and personal contact with wonderful families every day. My favorite experiences come when I pay attention to the continuing unfolding of Shelby's life.

Shelby is awesome. She teaches me simple but valuable lessons constantly.Her favorite activities right now center around making jewelry and cheerleading. She dedicates a lot of time and energy to both. When Shelby becomes interested in anything she finds a way to pursue it. One of the most vital tools in Shelby's life has been You Tube.

Through You Tube Shelby has learned to do make up, create jewelry, improve gymnastic moves, and many other skills. Shelby's primary reading tool has been Facebook. Shelby's first major art teachers were the shows Miami Ink and L.A. Ink.

For me, I am grateful I get to participate in Shelby's life. I am as excited to assist her in pursuing her passions as I am to do anything else. Already at eleven she has been to Ireland, Germany, all over the U.S., the Caribbean, and Canada. She has scuba dived, been Zorbing,and seen Paul McCartney. Already her life has been as rich as many who have lived much longer. As a parent I see a big part of my responsibility as being willing to pay attention and facilitate as many opportunities for her to experience as much as possible. What a wonderful life.

What Life Is Good Reminded Me Of

My family and I returned home from the Life Is Good unschooling conference yesterday. What a wonderful experience!  This was the first time we attended this particular conference. I volunteered to speak, and fortunately Mary Gold allowed me the opportunity.

From the time we arrived in Vancouver, Washington we felt as if we had arrived home. There were several people we were excited to see and many more we looked forward to meeting. The first speaker was Laura  Endres. It was my first time to meet Laura and hearing about her family's experiences was inspiring. Many others stood out as well; Ronnie Maier is always a fantastic speaker, Danielle Conger connects like no other, and Ben and Kelly Lovejoy provide great guidance and wisdom. The weekend was capped off by a fabulous concert featuring Kimya Dawson and Amy Steinberg. It was the perfect ending to a great weekend filled with love, laughter, and fellowship.

Every time I participate in one of these events I am reminded of what is important to me and why I live the way I do. I laughed my ass off several times. I had deep conversations with people whose opinion mattered to me. I did not give a f*** about who may judge me as a parent. I realized that this is how I feel most of the time. I have managed to create relationships in my life in which I am able to connect with people who challenge me to stretch as a person without ever feeling like I can't measure up.

I hope you feel the same way about your life. If so, continue to share with people how you pull this off. If not find some people you can ask how to make changes so you can enjoy your life. I would love to hear about some of your experiences, so leave a comment or e-mail me at clint@clintstonebraker.com.

The Unschooling Tour Guides

One of my favorite aspects of my family's unschooling life is the freedom we have to travel. Shelby and I have enjoyed recording our adventures as much as possible. It's fun both for the sake of posterity and our own entertainment.

At eleven, Shelby has had the opportunity to experience a lot of life. Between traveling to different locations, learning to scuba dive, and meeting so many wonderful people, she has enjoyed things many other people haven't. I am grateful to participate.

I hope you enjoy the video here, I realize it's a little long but I think it's worth it. I particularly love the fact that Shelby and I got to film it together. Carnival Valor was a fun ship, I highly recommend it!

Gratitude Installment #2

As a reminder to all of you, I am continuing a tradition I learned about last year from Tia Graham. The tradition is posting a five item gratitude list every Wednesday up toThanksgiving. So far there are several others joining in, so enjoy reading, and hopefully participating, in the spread of gratitude. Here's my list for the week:

1. I am grateful to have seen Neuschwanstein in the Alps shrouded in fog
2. I am grateful to be learning to scuba dive
3. I am grateful I live in beautiful North Georgia
4. I am grateful to have seen Bayern München in person
5. I am grateful for the wonderful unschooling community (thank you for the support and inspiration)

I know I'm a day early, but I had the opportunity!

A New Diving Adventure!

This post is from our latest diving adventure on the way home from Disneyworld. We stayed in Gainesville, FL. because it put us close to some great spring dive spots. Devil's Den is close by as are Ginnie Springs and the place we wound up, Troy Springs.

If you check out the link for Devil's Den, you'll be able to see why we decided to move on. It is a great place but as inexperienced divers it was a little dark for us. Maybe we'll go back some other time. We didn't have time to visit Ginnie Springs and found out Shelby was too young to dive there anyway. Oh well, on to Troy Springs!

Our day started off at the Extreme Exposure dive shop in High Springs, FL. This is where we rented our tanks and weights. The folks there were great. They were extremely helpful and patient. They were also able to give us some useful information about different versions of buoyancy control devices. One of the things I love about diving is that there are a lot of helpful people. It's a fun little sub-culture!

When we arrived at Troy Springs, we were pretty excited. It was a week day, so we unschoolers pretty much had the place to ourselves. As is the case with the other springs we have visited, the water was very chilly. It was about 68 degrees. It was a hot Florida day, so the cool water was refreshing at first.

On both the dives we went on, we didn't go very deep. There was a giant hole that probably went to a depth of 70'. The rest of the pool was between 4' and 10'. There was a slope leading into the hole but none of us had the intestinal fortitude to investigate. We saw a bunch of turtles and several fish. The real treat at Troy Springs is a sunken Confederate ship. The Confederate army sank the boat in order for it to not be captured by the northern army. The boat is close to the river so we were able to drift in the current to see the boat. It was a definite highlight.

It was great to be able to stay under water for an extended period of time and gain more experience with our equipment. We all get more comfortable each time we have the opportunity to dive. Troy Springs was a lot of fun and worth the trip. I love being able to share these experiences and look forward to sharing many more. Until next time!

Mixed Emotions

Alas, Live and Learn is drawing to a close. As I sit and reflect on the past week a few things stand out. First, this way of life, radical unschooling, is life as it is meant to be for me. To be able to spend the time with my family that I do, to meet the people I have met along the way, to be able to explain a wonderful way of life to those who ask, and to be safe to share my thoughts and ideas. 

To me radical unschooling has absolutely nothing to do with an educational option. Pardon my language, but fuck that. I wouldn't diminish my child's life to such a condescending statement as "Wendy and I chose radical unschooling as an educational alternative for our daughter." What a terrifyingly arrogant statement. Yet it is a statement that is made daily. It is not my place to choose an educational direction for anyone other than me. Where, when, why, or how someone CHOOSES to learn is none of my business. Not even "my" daughter's.

This doesn't mean that I haven't experienced my share of fears or doubts as to how Wendy and I are "raising" Shelby. But when put underneath the self-loving and self-honest microscope I realized that those fears were completely based on someone else's definition of "child-rearing." By the way, what exactly is "child-rearing?" It's not like we're talking about chickens, we are talking about HUMAN BEINGS. 

This is what I like to refer to as the illusion of parenting. Let's not confuse providing a helpless living being who is a product of shared cells, DNA, etc. with property. I consider myself fortunate that I am physically capable of providing for a dependant person. To me it is a way to be of service and provide love. I particularly like Bob's description of "being able to love my love." Because we participate in procreation doesn't mean we have the right to smother, direct, or demand behavior from our children. It simply means that we GET to love our love. For those who adopt, the same way of thinking applies. You choose to be of service to humanity by providing sustenance to someone who desperately needs it to survive. "Step" parents? You, too. 

My point is this. Enjoy yourself. I know it gets scary and stressful sometimes, so deal with it. For those that are looking forward to becoming parents, ask questions and remove the fear. Most of that is just mislabeled excitement anyway. Find people who see the world and see children as you do and find safety and comfort in those relationships. Above all honor yourself, your partner, and your children by remaining in a place of love and gratitude. That is what comes naturally.

P.S. I have a new post on another blog I think you will enjoy, so please check it out!