Merry Christmas to You!!!

Merry Christmas to all of you! There is so much to be grateful for this year, so I will share what stands out to me and what's on my mind today.

First of all my thoughts and prayers go out to my mother and sister. My mom is very sick right now and in the hospital. The doctors are trying to figure out what is wrong, so in the interim she is being treated as appropriately as possible. She has had a rough December, she broke her ankle a few weeks ago before this latest illness. My sister is doing the best she can right now to support my mother and is doing a great job.

On a happier note, close friends of ours had a daughter last week. It was wonderful to see a new life come into the world, especially this time of year. Mackenzie Rose Meyer was born on December 17th and mother, father, and baby are all very well.

Christmas Eve is a special day for my family. We have been able to create new traditions which we all love. No one feels an unnecessary sense of duty or obligation, we enjoy this day together. I love the movies we watch, the chili, and the gifts but we could do anything and I would enjoy it as much.

I hope you are spending today with the people you love most. If you are unable to for any reason, make it a point to share today with them in some way; a thought, a prayer, or a phone call. Have a holiday filled with love and peace and have fun!

Christmas (and A New Beginning) Is Upon Us

Last night my daughter informed my wife and me that she no longer believes in Santa Claus. This was no great shock, she's about to be eleven and has shown little interest in the jolly old elf for a few years. She still loves Christmas and has lead the way with house decorations, music, and general holiday spirit.

For me it was validation that I am entering a new phase of parenthood. As Shelby continues to mature and expands her interests, I am excited about the growth of our relationship. I love finding new ground on which we can relate and have discussions. I love her developing opinions and perspectives, she's a pretty sharp person.

We continue to have our disagreements and petty little arguments sometimes and I certainly can continue to work on letting go of the idea that she is still a little girl. However, I am eternally grateful to know Shelby. She is an incredible spirit and brings tremendous joy to my life. Wendy and I feel very fortunate.

This is a special Christmas for my family for many reasons. It seems to be the year of conscious perspective shifts. It has been an incredible journey and I look forward to seeing what's around the bend. In the mean time, I will remain present and enjoy the moment.

Learn From Tiger:Power Equals Responsibility

Certainly there have been plenty of pundits weighing in on the indiscretions of Tiger Woods. Now, it's my turn. It seems people are shocked whenever someone in the public eye is found to be less than perfect, particularly when the person in question is viewed as being super-human. Time and time again those who are lifted to the pedestal of greatness come crashing down. Hard.

This year alone Tiger Woods, the Georgia House Speaker Glenn Richardson, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, and former quarterback Steve McNair have faced unimaginable consequences for extra-marital affairs. All of these men have children: Tiger Woods has two children, Glenn Richardson has three children, Mark Sanford has four children, and Steve McNair is survived by four children.

There will be plenty of people who defend the actions of these men with statements illustrating the "unreasonable" expectations the public places on those in prominent positions. I disagree with this notion. I believe it is an honor to excel at something to the degree that others wish to reach the level of the example you set. I write and speak about relationships. I spend my time coaching and counseling people on the importance of making deep and meaningful connections with others. I believe that there is nothing more sacred than the trust built between people based on shared convictions, definitions of happiness, and love. In my experience there are few things more destructive than the breach of this trust.

Human beings are fallible. "Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone" is a quote that speaks volumes. So is: "power = responsibility." For anyone hoping to someday be elevated to a position of great authority or influence, remember people rely on you. They don't necessarily depend on you being perfect but they certainly should expect honesty, humility, and responsibility. Oh, by the way, be honest before you are caught.

Steve McNair was murdered by his mistress. He left behind a wife and four kids. Glenn Richardson was so petrified by potential backlash that he attempted to take his own life. He is the father of three children. There is no viable excuse for infidelity. It is time for people to realize that in any relationship, particularly in relationships with your family, there are responsibilities to those with whom you are involved. No one is bullet proof.

Maybe Tiger Woods will work out his relationship with his wife. Perhaps Glenn Richardson will seek help. Mark Sanford may find his way. Steve McNair is dead. The reality these men share is that their children are forever affected by their actions. These situations have permanently altered how they as men and as fathers will be viewed. Not by us, the public, but by their families. They are who matter.

Take this opportunity to express to anyone in your life how much you love them. Let them know that despite your imperfections they can trust you. Convey with clarity and conviction that you will attempt to better yourself when you become aware of your shortcomings.

So Far, So Good

I must say, this holiday season has been a blast. Thanksgiving was fun, the tree is up and decorated, and we now await our annual Christmas Party and the arrival of jolly old St.Nick.

I actually decorated the house the weekend after Halloween, I couldn't wait. This certainly has helped me stay more relaxed. Some may not appreciate my lighting skills, but my family loves it and that's what matters to me. Our tree is beautiful and the process of decorating it was spread out over a few days. Again, an anxiety reliever.

I have been committed to making the holidays of 2009 an enjoyable time. I love my family and I love this time of year. The last thing I want to be is a stressed out controlling bastard who sabotages Christmas for everyone. Up to now, mission accomplished. Sharing this motivates me to continue this process. Thanks for reading!