It's Been Awhile

I haven't written on this site for a while now. I don't quite have the hang of writing on multiple blogs. Right now I am focused on my main blog, which is clintstonebrakerblog.com. I am going to keep this one but for now go to the other one. I love it and think that it's pretty cool. Let me know what you think!

From the Minds of Children

We are currently at Disneyworld and as always it is the time of our lives. We have had several memories made and plenty of stories to tell. I will elaborate in future posts about all of this but my topic tonight is different.

It will be difficult to do Shelby's perception justice, but I will give it an attempt. She is always fascinated with the way adults speak to and discipline their children. She does not comprehend why people threaten, hit, or angrily yell at their children. As a family we certainly have our heated moments but we aren't violent or threatening with one another. 

The other night Shelby and I were wrestling. Often when we play like this she will mimic recent experiences in her life. At one point in this wrestling match, Shelby decided that it was time to spank me. As she started my well deserved punishment she also grabbed my ear. I couldn't figure out why she was doing this. When I asked her about it she said she had seen parents punish their children by holding on to their ear. I realized that she has no idea what the sensation of a spanking or an ear pulling is. 

As amused as I was by this awareness, I was also very grateful. Not only has Shelby never had to experience this kind of violent interaction with her parents, she sees these actions as being incredibly ridiculous. The minds of children are so perceptive and generally right. Violent actions taken against children are ridiculous. These actions are unacceptable and NEVER justified. May your children never be subjected to acts of violence to coerce behavior.

Mixed Emotions

Alas, Live and Learn is drawing to a close. As I sit and reflect on the past week a few things stand out. First, this way of life, radical unschooling, is life as it is meant to be for me. To be able to spend the time with my family that I do, to meet the people I have met along the way, to be able to explain a wonderful way of life to those who ask, and to be safe to share my thoughts and ideas. 

To me radical unschooling has absolutely nothing to do with an educational option. Pardon my language, but fuck that. I wouldn't diminish my child's life to such a condescending statement as "Wendy and I chose radical unschooling as an educational alternative for our daughter." What a terrifyingly arrogant statement. Yet it is a statement that is made daily. It is not my place to choose an educational direction for anyone other than me. Where, when, why, or how someone CHOOSES to learn is none of my business. Not even "my" daughter's.

This doesn't mean that I haven't experienced my share of fears or doubts as to how Wendy and I are "raising" Shelby. But when put underneath the self-loving and self-honest microscope I realized that those fears were completely based on someone else's definition of "child-rearing." By the way, what exactly is "child-rearing?" It's not like we're talking about chickens, we are talking about HUMAN BEINGS. 

This is what I like to refer to as the illusion of parenting. Let's not confuse providing a helpless living being who is a product of shared cells, DNA, etc. with property. I consider myself fortunate that I am physically capable of providing for a dependant person. To me it is a way to be of service and provide love. I particularly like Bob's description of "being able to love my love." Because we participate in procreation doesn't mean we have the right to smother, direct, or demand behavior from our children. It simply means that we GET to love our love. For those who adopt, the same way of thinking applies. You choose to be of service to humanity by providing sustenance to someone who desperately needs it to survive. "Step" parents? You, too. 

My point is this. Enjoy yourself. I know it gets scary and stressful sometimes, so deal with it. For those that are looking forward to becoming parents, ask questions and remove the fear. Most of that is just mislabeled excitement anyway. Find people who see the world and see children as you do and find safety and comfort in those relationships. Above all honor yourself, your partner, and your children by remaining in a place of love and gratitude. That is what comes naturally.

P.S. I have a new post on another blog I think you will enjoy, so please check it out!

Home Soon!!!!

I have now been in Phoenix for ten days. Wendy and Shelby stayed home, I think this year's travels and our upcoming trips led Shelby to "just say no" to this one. I miss them tremendously and am excited to get home on Sunday.

The trip has been phenomenal. I did a workshop for Pathway the first week which I think went very well. The format was a little different than it has been but the feedback I received was very positive. We also had the staff pool party and that was a blast. The staff has gotten really close and it is obvious that they are of one mind in building the program. Seeing the Lieberman's was a real treat as well. It reminded me of the thrill and anticipation that happens through pregnancy. What a blast!

The Jack Canfield seminar I am currently attending is phenomenal. I have met so many wonderful people, many of whom I'm sure I will have long-standing relationships with. This entire year has represented stepping outside of my comfort zones. From the RU-Fun week, in which I was in close quarters with people I didn't know that well, to this week , where I and many others are processing many useless belief systems, I am putting into practice many of the things I talk about a lot. 

I will have much more to say on all of these topics in the near future, so in the mean time I will leave you with this. By reading this blog , know that I write all of these words with genuine love and compassion. I am excited to share my life and experiences with all of you. My hope is that others benefit from what I have to share. We do all make a difference. We do make the world a better place. Our love is that strong and powerful. Let someone know how important they are to you.

Talk to you soon!

"I Don't Know!"

Last night I browsed through some of the RU Fun pictures on the Flickr site. I love seeing these pictures along with my own because I get to see the retreat from other's perspectives. We may all be looking at the same thing but it changes through different eyes. 

In going through the pictures, I ran across a couple of one of my new buddies. I talk and write all of the time about the significance of paying attention to those with whom we connect but some people have more of an impact than others. This isn't good, bad, or otherwise it just works out that way. I make an effort to appreciate all relationships that I develop. Some people make it very easy to do. 

Anyway, after being at the retreat for a couple of days, talking and playing I became progressively more comfortable. I was approached by a little girl who kept challenging me with physical feats such as spinning, jumping, and tumbling. At 39 these acts are a bit more challenging than they once were but I pulled it off. This continued for a while and we wound up hanging out the rest of the afternoon and evening. Me and my new friend went and helped my wife and daughter, we walked around the campsite saying hello to people, and we jumped on inner tubes. At one point I asked her how old she was and her response was "I don't know!"

To me that was the most brilliant response to a quintessentially adult question that I had ever heard. This little girl never stopped laughing or having fun. She brought joy and happiness to everyone with whom she made contact. For me, to be reminded that it makes absolutely no difference what someone's age is, what their level of education, or their "future aspirations"is of undeniable value. My life is fun and free when I am able to answer questions like "How old are you" with a care-free and enthusiastic "I don't know." When I am grateful and appreciative not only do I not know but I don't care.

Thank you, Mia!

Oh, Canada......

Tis not my home, nor my native land, but I did have a wonderful week in our neighboring country to the north. When my family and I first heard about the RU Fun week we couldn't wait. For Shelby and me it provided us our first opportunity to leave the country. For all of us it provided an opportunity to meet some families we hadn't met before and become closer to some others we already knew. 

Within this simple week we accomplished all of these goals. Not only were we able to reconnect with some familiar faces from past Live and Learn conferences, we also got to meet a lot of the Northwest and Canadian crowd. What a fantastic group of people. I don't know if I have the words to describe how truly wonderful it is to be able to spend a week with such a beautiful group of people in such an amazing setting. For my family I know that this event has not only brought us closer but it has enriched our lives in so many other ways.

I am a firm believer in that the more people we are able to lovingly connect with, the better the world in which we live. Regardless of what common interest brings a group together, when the members of that group are able to drop their walls of self-protection and truly connect, everyone benefits. The laughter of children, the embraces, the dancing, and the conversations all provided an air of safety and security that most people yearn for.

I am reminded how important it is to have these types of relationships and how I need not take them for granted. Far too many people sabotage their own lives as a result of isolating themselves out of fear or judgement. I refuse to miss the precious moments of my life and the celebration of spirit that comes from human connection.

Thank you Craig and Gillian and everyone else who was at Salt Spring Island last week. My life is truly better as a result.

....I Was Just Thinkin'......

Recent days have brought on many joyful experiences, which of course will create many more. This summer has been a whirlwind of activity. From Shelby piercing her ears, to the events that led to the Traaseth family moving to Georgia, my trip to St. Louis, and the Meehan's trans-Atlantic cruise aboard the Queen Mary2 , wonderful events have taken place in my life and the lives with whom I am intimately connected. In the past couple of weeks I have found out about the Liebermann's and the Schendel's being pregnant. Recently, Steve and Heather have gotten engaged. Finally Mike and Morgan Pierce were given the opportunity to move to Kansas City to further their personal and professional lives and they took it.

With many of these situations comes a feeling of pure joy. I love being connected enough to people to be able to share in their excitement for the wonderful things that happen in their lives. Because of these relationships I am able to learn and grow not only from my personal successes, but also from the successes of others. How awesome is that?! I know that I either choose to involve or exclude myself. IT IS ALWAYS ME WHO MAKES THAT CHOICE!

As I go into this upcoming week, the event I am looking forward to is the Are You Fun un-schooling non-conference in Salt Spring Island, B.C. I absolutely love any event that involves the un-schooling community. The kids are pure joy. The families are in touch with what is truly important. Their shared love and experiences. That is also true in the programs in which I am involved. When my priorities are straight, it is pure joy and love. Even when scary or sad circumstances arise, I am empowered by the connections of love and understanding I have as a result of my relationships. 

The bottom line is that my life is unbelievably good. I am grateful for my beautiful and supportive wife. I am grateful for my thoughtful and exciting daughter. I am grateful for my patient and understanding in-laws. Finally, I am grateful for all of the people with whom I GET to share my life and who so selflessly share their lives with me.

I hope that is how YOU roll.