Perspectives of joy and passion

My Journey Through Lent

2011-03-22T19:14:00.000-04:00

This year I was motivated to do something for Lent. For those of you who aren't Christian, Lent is the season that begins on Ash Wednesday and ends on Easter Sunday. Here is a detailed explanation of Lent, if you are interested. Most people associate Lent with a commitment to let go of some form of behavior in observance of the season. This year I chose to do something instead.

I had thought about what to do for Lent for a couple of weeks. I wanted to find some action that would be in service to someone I love. Once I really let go of the "how" and focused on the "what" (being of service to someone I love) and idea came to mind that seemed very obvious. All I had to do was get out of my own way. I decided to cook dinner for our family.

Whatever I did, I wanted to accomplish three simple tasks: have it be an act of service, do something physical, and get out of my comfort zone. Being the dinner cook does all three. Wendy doesn't have to cook, preparing dinner every night requires action, and I normally don't prepare meals that don't involve the barbecue. Cooking for Wendy, Shelby, and me was a bit intimidating but not at all daunting.

Once I made this decision another turn of events came into play. Due to unexpected circumstances I also became the culinary artist for my in-laws for the first week of Lent. Both my wife and mother-in-law are fabulous cooks, so........uh-oh. However, I soldiered on. The spirit of Lent 2011 for me is maintaining a helpful attitude and to look for opportunities to provide help to others. You get what you pray for.

Butter Chicken

Brisket for Corned Beef

Veggies for Corned Beef

Fried Chicken and Fixin's

Chicken Parmesan with Oregano from Our Garden

Irish Soda Bread

The first week was fantastic. I prepared Cajun fish, corned beef and cabbage with Irish soda bread (for my Irish descended friends along with my family), fish and chips, London broil, butter chicken, chicken parmesan, tuna casserole, hamburgers, and my mother's fried chicken (which is unbelievable). I may have missed a couple, but you get the idea.

I plan on sharing with you periodically because this is a ton of fun. I am enjoying the cooking but am especially into being able to be of service to my family. Tonight I am making balsamic chicken. It is a staple around our house and hopefully will be good. My lessons right now are simple; serve others, seek opportunities to help, and have fun doing it. Bon apetit!

Gratitude Post #6, Happy Thanksgiving

2010-11-24T10:17:00.000-05:00

This is the final gratitude post before Thanksgiving but certainly not the end of my gratitude! The past several weeks have been enlightening for me, I am experiencing a lot of realization and growth right now. I am far from perfect and, more importantly, far from alone. Enjoy your Thanksgiving and the people you get to celebrate with. May God bless you this year! Today I am grateful:

To have a patient and loving family
To have wonderful and understanding friends
That I constantly have opportunities to learn more about myself
To live in such a beautiful place
To be healthy!

Gratitude Post #5

2010-11-17T20:09:00.000-05:00

This is the fifth installment of my annual gratitude posts! Today I am grateful:

I have such wonderful friends
I have the tools to grow and change
To live in the South!
To be supported by my family
To have so many ways to connect with people

I hope you enjoy these posts and I look forward to hearing from you!

Gratitude Post #4

2010-11-10T12:50:00.000-05:00

This is installment #4 of my annual autumn gratitude posts. I hope you are enjoying them and participating in your own way! Today I am grateful:

Shelby's First Cheer Medal!

I get to participate in my daughter's passions
My family is close and loves to do things together
To be going to New York this week with Wendy and Shelby (Central Park in fall, you know)
My business has had a really solid year
There are so many ways to connect with people!

Gratitude Post #3

2010-11-03T10:24:00.000-04:00

Here is the next installment of my annual gratitude posts. Today I am grateful:

I have the freedom to vote
I have a loving and supportive family with whom I get to share my life
I have found a way of life that pushes me to grow physically, emotionally, and spiritually
I have the ability to travel
I am healthy!

I look forward to hearing from you, have a wonderful day and week!

Gratitude Post # 2 For 2010

2010-10-27T15:34:00.000-04:00

Today I find myself in Charlotte,N.C. This is pretty cool because I am meeting with a group of families who are interested in having us start one of our Insight programs(www.theinsightprogram.com)here.So in that spirit I will begin this post.
1. I am grateful the work I do provides me with the opportunity to help a lot of families
2. I am grateful I get to work with so many committed people
3. I am grateful I got to spend last night carving pumpkins with my family
4. I am grateful I am in a position to do what I love
5. I am grateful I am around teenagers constantly, they are awesome!

Gratitude 2010!

2010-10-21T11:27:00.000-04:00

A couple of years ago I started participating in something that has become a tradition for me. For the five Wednesdays ( I realize today is Thursday, but WTF no one is perfect) leading up to Thanksgiving I post five things for which I am grateful. This is something I love to do, it would be awesome if you joined me. If you don't feel like posting your own list, please enjoy mine. I realize this is something I look forward to every year and it has definitely had an effect on how I think throughout the year. So look forward to a gratitude post from me every Wednesday until Thanksgiving! Send me a link toy your blog, I would love to share in your gratitude as well. This week I am grateful for:

The beautiful autumn weather in Georgia
I get to share my life with two awesome women, Wendy and Shelby
I am able to own a business whose sole purpose is to help families heal
A life spent being aware of ways I can grow and change
To be surrounded by so many great teachers!

I look forward to reading your posts!

I Am That Dad!!!!

2010-07-27T14:36:00.000-04:00

Shelby At Life Is Good 2010

Oh, sweet Jesus am I "that dad!" This picture should tell you a little bit, but I'll take it a few steps further for the sake of clarity:

I am "that dad" who likes his daughter and is pretty sure the feeling is reciprocated.
I am "that dad" who dropped out of high school and is eternally grateful for that decision.
I am "that dad" who believes the parent/child relationship is about the relationship between two autonomous human beings, not a power play to show who's boss or a way to form a person into my image.
I am "that dad" who thinks spare the rod/spoil the child was a child rearing philosophy created by a d******* f*** so insecure about his own place in the world, he felt it necessary to bully a person for whom he was supposed to provide protection.
I am "that dad" who is looking forward to his daughter's teenage years
I am "that dad" who sees every day as an opportunity to become closer to his family
I am "that dad" who f***s up more than he would like but can admit his shortcomings

I love this carnival! It got me all fired up, my list could be endless. Thanks for the idea Ronnie and Flo!

Ah, The Music Of My Youth!

2010-07-25T11:43:00.000-04:00

Abbi and Alec at Metallica

Yesterday I received an e-mail from Alec Traaseth (very cool guy) informing me of a concert this October featuring Anthrax, Slayer, and Megadeth. Last year Alec, his sister Abbi, and I saw Metallica together and had a blast. We had discussed the possibility of seeing some more metal shows in the future so this one makes sense.

Recently I had a conversation with Shelby, my 11 year old daughter, about what some of the music scene was like when I was a teenager. I was born in 1968, so my musically formative years took place between 1982 and 1986. I spent a great deal of time in record stores which specialized in imported metal albums and would often try to impress my friends with a band so obscure they had yet to hear mention of their name. We all played the same game so it was rare that anyone would get stumped.

After annoying Wendy and Shelby with snippets of pre- I Am The Man Anthrax, pre- South Of Heaven Slayer, and a little taste of Peace Sells from Megadeth, I decided to compile a list of albums (yes kids, albums- ask your parents what that means) I absolutely wore out as a 14-16 year old. The albums I listened to while locked away in my room with headphones on. The ones that created a bit of hearing damage. Albums which defined my disturbed adolescence and provided me with some fuel to get through some pretty rough patches.

Me at Metallica

My tastes have changed over time, but when I think of these records, I can't help but smile. I would love to hear some of yours, maybe we will give each other some fond memories. Today, at 41, I am certainly not trying to impress anyone. But I must admit I feel kind of cool as I write this list. It doesn't matter how many you write, just share what comes to mind. I can't wait to read yours!!!

Kill 'Em All by Metallica. This album changed my life. I got it as a blind recommendation from a buddy and wore it out after a few weeks. Whiplash and Seek and Destroy were stand out songs for me.
Ride The Lightning by Metallica. Simply awesome.
Master Of Puppets by Metallica. To me, the greatest speed metal album ever.
Diary of a Madman by Ozzy Osbourne. Randy Rhoads was my favorite guitarist
Holy Diver by Dio. Not a bad tune on it.

I know there were others, but these stand out right now. Share your list, I look forward to reading it.

What I Get To Learn Every Day

2010-06-24T12:17:00.000-04:00

I love the typical "day in the life" I get to experience as an unschooling dad. For example, I stay connected through Facebook, blogs, and personal contact with wonderful families every day. My favorite experiences come when I pay attention to the continuing unfolding of Shelby's life.

Shelby is awesome. She teaches me simple but valuable lessons constantly.Her favorite activities right now center around making jewelry and cheerleading. She dedicates a lot of time and energy to both. When Shelby becomes interested in anything she finds a way to pursue it. One of the most vital tools in Shelby's life has been You Tube.

Through You Tube Shelby has learned to do make up, create jewelry, improve gymnastic moves, and many other skills. Shelby's primary reading tool has been Facebook. Shelby's first major art teachers were the shows Miami Ink and L.A. Ink.

For me, I am grateful I get to participate in Shelby's life. I am as excited to assist her in pursuing her passions as I am to do anything else. Already at eleven she has been to Ireland, Germany, all over the U.S., the Caribbean, and Canada. She has scuba dived, been Zorbing,and seen Paul McCartney. Already her life has been as rich as many who have lived much longer. As a parent I see a big part of my responsibility as being willing to pay attention and facilitate as many opportunities for her to experience as much as possible. What a wonderful life.

What Life Is Good Reminded Me Of

2010-06-02T14:38:00.000-04:00

My family and I returned home from the Life Is Good unschooling conference yesterday. What a wonderful experience! This was the first time we attended this particular conference. I volunteered to speak, and fortunately Mary Gold allowed me the opportunity.

From the time we arrived in Vancouver, Washington we felt as if we had arrived home. There were several people we were excited to see and many more we looked forward to meeting. The first speaker was Laura Endres. It was my first time to meet Laura and hearing about her family's experiences was inspiring. Many others stood out as well; Ronnie Maier is always a fantastic speaker, Danielle Conger connects like no other, and Ben and Kelly Lovejoy provide great guidance and wisdom. The weekend was capped off by a fabulous concert featuring Kimya Dawson and Amy Steinberg. It was the perfect ending to a great weekend filled with love, laughter, and fellowship.

Every time I participate in one of these events I am reminded of what is important to me and why I live the way I do. I laughed my ass off several times. I had deep conversations with people whose opinion mattered to me. I did not give a f*** about who may judge me as a parent. I realized that this is how I feel most of the time. I have managed to create relationships in my life in which I am able to connect with people who challenge me to stretch as a person without ever feeling like I can't measure up.

I hope you feel the same way about your life. If so, continue to share with people how you pull this off. If not find some people you can ask how to make changes so you can enjoy your life. I would love to hear about some of your experiences, so leave a comment or e-mail me at clint@clintstonebraker.com.

A Fine Spring Day Indeed!

2010-04-10T21:57:00.007-04:00

What a wonderful day for the Stonebraker family today! Wendy, Shelby, and I began the day by attending Farm Days at Rucker Horse and Pet. It was a great event and we all had fun with the different varieties of chickens, goats, donkeys, and even some snakes. We shop at Rucker fairly often, they're good people and very helpful.

From there,we headed to Lowes. It's time to add to our

raised bed gardens. We have found a ton of joy in these projects at home. It's something we all participate in together and we get to see some cool results. Once we finish these beds we'll have a total of seven. I can't wait until our summer crops start producing!

Days like today reinforce my gratitude. It was beautiful outside, I got to spend some fun time with my family, and we are creating something together. Not all days are like this but they give me a frame of reference for what my attitude needs to be. I love my family and my life. It is my responsibility to them, and to me, to remember to live in the moment and enjoy what I get to do as much as I can.

I Renounce Winter!

2010-03-09T16:18:00.005-05:00

Yep, I've had it. Enough is enough. Winter, in all of its teeth chattering misery, needs to bid a fond farewell. I realize Mother Nature isn't too interested in my opinion on the matter, but I figure it doesn't hurt to speak my mind.

We Stonebrakers have been a busy little bunch. We have continued to harvest vegetables all winter, have been building our chicken collection, and started our seeds for the spring garden. Wendy and Shelby have really been the catalysts and we are all enjoying the projects.

Wendy's decision to put hoops in our raised beds has proven to be a brilliant idea. We have had an abundance of lettuce, spinach, mustard greens, turnips, and radishes. We also have carrots and onions well on their way.

Our four grown chickens are each laying about an egg a day (you do the math), and we have recently added three chicks. Eggs anyone?

All of this has certainly brought our family closer together. I am so grateful we get to do so much. I look forward to sharing our adventures with you and will keep you posted on our progress. In the mean time, enjoy our little video update and stay tuned!

Do What You Love

2010-02-18T18:58:00.005-05:00

*This photo has nothing to do with the post, I just like it!*

There are many aspects of my life I absolutely love. My marriage, being a dad, relationships with friends and family, my work, the list goes on and on. I have written and shared a lot lately about our family travels. I want to share a little about why I love my work.

For the past twenty-two years, I have been in service to people in one capacity or another. My career in counseling began in 1987 at a drug and alcohol treatment program in St.Louis called Crossroads. I spent three wonderful years there and grew up a lot. I then moved on to Atlanta to become the program director at Insight, of which I eventually became the owner. I also spent seven fantastic years in Phoenix as the owner of Pathway. I have since sold Pathway and moved back to Atlanta and all of the experiences I have had are valuable.

A few years ago I decided to write a book, Connected: The Art of Building Relationships, because I feel the knowledge I have gained in my counseling career has value to a broader range of people. I have also begun a speaking career and have gotten certified as a coach.

My point is this: I love what I get to do every day. I look forward to the challenge of finding ways to help people. I relish opportunities to learn how I can improve. I am passionate about discovering new tools that benefit my fellow humans on this strange and beautiful journey of life. I believe what I do brings value and I love sharing this with others. How do you feel about what you do?

Final Thoughts On the Cruise

2010-02-11T23:34:00.005-05:00

This is my final post from our cruise in January. I was putting together the last of the video footage I had and felt compelled to share my final thoughts. As I have stated before, this was a wonderful experience for my entire family. From diving at the Caymans and Cozumel, to horseback riding in the jungle of Belize, to zip lining in Roatan, I was fortunate to share an incredible time with Wendy, Shelby, and my in-laws.

This video shows Shelby on the water slide on the ship, the horse back ride, and our zip line experience. Notice how vividly green Roatan and Belize are. Two of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. I am grateful to share these experiences with you and hope you enjoy them!

The Unschooling Tour Guides

2010-02-03T19:43:00.003-05:00

One of my favorite aspects of my family's unschooling life is the freedom we have to travel. Shelby and I have enjoyed recording our adventures as much as possible. It's fun both for the sake of posterity and our own entertainment.

At eleven, Shelby has had the opportunity to experience a lot of life. Between traveling to different locations, learning to scuba dive, and meeting so many wonderful people, she has enjoyed things many other people haven't. I am grateful to participate.

I hope you enjoy the video here, I realize it's a little long but I think it's worth it. I particularly love the fact that Shelby and I got to film it together. Carnival Valor was a fun ship, I highly recommend it!

Happy Birthday Shelby!

2010-01-25T12:00:00.003-05:00

Today Shelby turned eleven! What a wonderful day. She has provided me with eleven years of joy, fun, laughter, and lessons. Shelby's amazing spirit and enthusiasm inspire me every day.

When I think about how far she has come and how much she has enriched my and Wendy's life, I am overwhelmed. Although it is a bit clichéd to say it seems like yesterday that we brought her home, it really does.

Reflecting on all of our experiences up to this point is awesome and I look forward to many more. Thanks, Shelby and keep being you!

Our Dive In Cozumel!

2010-01-23T14:53:00.006-05:00

This post is about our second ocean dive, this time in Cozumel. Of course, there is a video at the bottom for your enjoyment.

We had heard about the awesomeness (real word) of diving in Cozumel for a long time. Many divers have extolled the joys of drift diving at this wonderful spot. I was particularly excited about this dive for that reason, the idea of following the current along the reef seemed very cool.

We arrived at the Blue Angel dive shop mid-morning ready to rock-n-roll. The sky was cloudy but it was very warm. We met our guide, Edgar, and waited for our boat to arrive. One thing that was cool about Blue Angel was they they were full service. They prepared all of our gear and took care of everything. All we really had to do was enjoy the boat ride and patiently wait.

Our first dive was supposed to be along the wall.It was about a 60'-65' dive. One thing cool about the wall is as you drift along, you look down and see nothing but blue. Apparently the depth is far enough to not be able to see the bottom. After Edgar explained the dive to us and we discussed the plan, it was time to go. This dive was doomed from the beginning. As soon as I jumped in, my regulator started to free-flow. This means that air flows through without stopping.Luckily, the dive shop had an extra regulator so they hooked me up with a replacement.

This did throw me off a little. I don't have much experience, so whenever anything unusual happens it takes me a minute to pull it together. But pull it together I did, and it was time to descend. Once we got to about 27', Shelby signaled she wanted to go to the surface. We didn't really know what was wrong, so we went up. Once we popped up at the surface, Shelby let us know she had been stung by a jelly-fish. What a bummer. She was pretty upset and we went back to the boat.

On the boat the Blue Angel folks were great. They had vinegar on board and were very kind and gentle with Shelby. There was no pressure to get back in and Edgar in particular was very understanding. After about 40 minutes we picked up the other divers and headed for the reef. I really didn't think Shelby would want to go back in, but once we arrived at the dive spot she said she wanted to try.

I am so grateful she made that decision, the dive was wonderful. The water was 79º and wonderful. The current was pretty strong which led to a pretty fun dive. We drifted along the reef at between 20' and 40'. The reef was beautiful.

We saw a wide variety of fish.Some of the highlights included a giant eagle ray and, of course, a barracuda. The entire experience was wonderful. I was really happy for

Shelby, it took a lot of courage for her to jump back in. Despite the jelly fish, Cozumel diving was a definite thumbs up. I'm sure we will dive there again.

Diving in The Caymans

2010-01-21T17:19:00.004-05:00

I included the video at the bottom if you are interested.

This dive was our first ocean dive. We have had several fresh water dives and have eagerly anticipated our inaugural venture into the deep blue sea. We went to Sunset House for our diving needs. They came highly recommended and now I know why. Their service was impeccable.

We decided to hire a dive master since this was our first ocean dive and we were a bit frightened. The dive master was a wonderful British guy named Andy. He was very patient with us and a great guide.

Our dive was a shore dive. All that really means is that you don't go out in a boat.

There is a sea pool you initially jump into before you swim out to deeper waters. What was cool about this particular spot was that the current actually sucked us out into the ocean. It wasn't difficult work for us and it was a cool sensation.

The water temperature was 79º ON JANUARY 12th!!!!! It was fantastic. On our first dive we went to a depth of 37'. The visibility was at least 50'-60'. The water was a little choppy so it wasn't limitless, but I'm certainly not complaining. We saw a lizard fish, a sea turtle, a peacock flounder, and several angel fish. The reef was incredible. We stayed down for about 31 minutes.

On the second dive, after a 57 minute surface interval, we went to a depth of 47'. It was the deepest I have been which was pretty exciting. An artist had placed a statue of a mermaid on the ocean floor, so we visited it. We also had two barracudas swim right in front of us. Surprisingly, none of us were afraid. There is something about being in that environment which removes some of the fear of being around the animals that are supposed to be there.

The entire experience was incredible. I am so grateful to have shared it with Shelby and Wendy. I hope you enjoy the footage and I will post about our dive in Cozumel soon!

They Eat Those Things?!?!?

2010-01-18T10:23:00.014-05:00

We just returned from a cruise through the Western Caribbean. It was a wonderful experience. I learned a lot about some different cultures, which I love to do. I learned that a little coconut oil completely changes beans and rice. I learned that there really are jungles. I saw that Caribbean reefs are prettier in person than in pictures. I also learned that some of our friends enjoy partaking of a dish called Bamboo Chicken. Sounds tasty, maybe even a little exotic.

Before you start hunting for this at your local Piggly Wiggly, allow me to inform you of what Bamboo Chicken really is.

But before I do......

Wendy, Shelby, and I decided to venture into the countries we visited rather than rely on the cruise's excursions.

We recognized that by booking our own adventures that we would experience a little more authenticity.

We were right.

Our first stop was Grand Cayman. It was fantastic!

We dove with our guide, Andy through Sunset House. We did a shore dive which was also our first dive in the ocean.

Grand Cayman is a beautiful island. Andy referred us to a local spot for lunch called Hammerhead's. Really good food and great atmosphere.

We next ventured into Roatan. I had only become familiar with Roatan a few months ago after my family started diving. Roatan is a small island off the coast of Honduras.

Although we didn't dive here, we experienced something almost as fun. We zip-lined through the jungle. This was a great experience. One of the highlights was that our guide, Pedro, actually built the course. It was a blast.

Next we headed to Belize.

Again, I had never really been familiar with Belize but once I started doing some research I got really excited. It too has a huge reef and a beautiful interior. We decided to go horseback riding through the jungle. We went to a resort deep in the jungle called Banana Bank lodge. It was unbelievable.

It is right on the Belize River and surrounded by the thick jungle. We were surrounded by Howler monkeys and even saw a wild Tucan in the trees. Pretty amazing.

Our trip ended in Cozumel. We dove with a company called Blue Angel.

They were great. For example, at the beginning of our first dive, Shelby got stung by a jelly fish. She was obviously upset and wanted to get back on the boat. Our dive master was very understanding.

I really thought we were finished at this point. The dive master was very patient and helpful with Shelby. He never pressured us to go in for the second dive. After a while Shelby decided she wanted to get in again and try.

The dive was fantastic. We saw a giant eagle ray, a barracuda, and the beautiful reef. We had heard about drift diving in Cozumel and were excited to try. The current was strong and made for an easy dive. The day ended with some great fish tacos and a sense of amazement at the natural beauty of what we had just seen.

All in all the trip exceeded any expectations I had. The people were very open and eager to share their culture. On the subject of culture.....

Meet the "Bamboo Chicken", also known as the Iguana!

And here how the iguana becomes the bamboo chicken:

If you want to see more pictures, go to my Flickr page, there are some really good ones. I'll be posting about the dives in the next few days, so stay tuned!

2010: So Far, So Good

2010-01-06T19:24:00.004-05:00

I realize the New Year has just begun, but:

I am off for a western Caribbean cruise this weekend
I just enjoyed an amazing holiday with friends and family, and
Work is really good

In 2009 I committed myself to learning. I realize education never stops (except on Learn Nothing Day) but I have shifted my focus in 2010 to taking action. I really want to stretch myself and experience as much as I can.

So far, so good. I am facing a fear next week by doing my first ocean dive with my family. Diving is still new to me, and as excited as I am, I am still scared. BIG STRETCH.

I recently completed a coaching course, so now I am a certified coach. I will be building another part of my business which is another stretch.

I am also committed to some more speaking events this year. I love speaking and it is a lot of fun, but I am focusing more conscious energy to this area of my professional life. Say it with me now......STRETCH!

I am re-releasing my book, fresh with a new title, a new design, and super editing. I understand the business a little better now, so I am looking forward to what will happen with it. By the way, the book is Connected: The Art of Building Relationships, and it's pretty good.

Finally, my daughter will be eleven in a few weeks. WOW!!!!!! That is the quickest decade I have ever experienced. Wendy and I feel so lucky to live and experience life with Shelby. She is an amazing person and I look forward to what each day brings.

I hope you enjoy my little ramblings about my life, I certainly enjoy sharing them. So until next time, CARIBBEAN HERE WE COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Merry Christmas to You!!!

2009-12-24T11:49:00.006-05:00

Merry Christmas to all of you! There is so much to be grateful for this year, so I will share what stands out to me and what's on my mind today.

First of all my thoughts and prayers go out to my mother and sister. My mom is very sick right now and in the hospital. The doctors are trying to figure out what is wrong, so in the interim she is being treated as appropriately as possible. She has had a rough December, she broke her ankle a few weeks ago before this latest illness. My sister is doing the best she can right now to support my mother and is doing a great job.

On a happier note, close friends of ours had a daughter last week. It was wonderful to see a new life come into the world, especially this time of year. Mackenzie Rose Meyer was born on December 17th and mother, father, and baby are all very well.

Christmas Eve is a special day for my family. We have been able to create new traditions which we all love. No one feels an unnecessary sense of duty or obligation, we enjoy this day together. I love the movies we watch, the chili, and the gifts but we could do anything and I would enjoy it as much.

I hope you are spending today with the people you love most. If you are unable to for any reason, make it a point to share today with them in some way; a thought, a prayer, or a phone call. Have a holiday filled with love and peace and have fun!

Christmas (and A New Beginning) Is Upon Us

2009-12-15T16:02:00.001-05:00

Last night my daughter informed my wife and me that she no longer believes in Santa Claus. This was no great shock, she's about to be eleven and has shown little interest in the jolly old elf for a few years. She still loves Christmas and has lead the way with house decorations, music, and general holiday spirit.

For me it was validation that I am entering a new phase of parenthood. As Shelby continues to mature and expands her interests, I am excited about the growth of our relationship. I love finding new ground on which we can relate and have discussions. I love her developing opinions and perspectives, she's a pretty sharp person.

We continue to have our disagreements and petty little arguments sometimes and I certainly can continue to work on letting go of the idea that she is still a little girl. However, I am eternally grateful to know Shelby. She is an incredible spirit and brings tremendous joy to my life. Wendy and I feel very fortunate.

This is a special Christmas for my family for many reasons. It seems to be the year of conscious perspective shifts. It has been an incredible journey and I look forward to seeing what's around the bend. In the mean time, I will remain present and enjoy the moment.

Learn From Tiger:Power Equals Responsibility

2009-12-11T20:17:00.004-05:00

Certainly there have been plenty of pundits weighing in on the indiscretions of Tiger Woods. Now, it's my turn. It seems people are shocked whenever someone in the public eye is found to be less than perfect, particularly when the person in question is viewed as being super-human. Time and time again those who are lifted to the pedestal of greatness come crashing down. Hard.

This year alone Tiger Woods, the Georgia House Speaker Glenn Richardson, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, and former quarterback Steve McNair have faced unimaginable consequences for extra-marital affairs. All of these men have children: Tiger Woods has two children, Glenn Richardson has three children, Mark Sanford has four children, and Steve McNair is survived by four children.

There will be plenty of people who defend the actions of these men with statements illustrating the "unreasonable" expectations the public places on those in prominent positions. I disagree with this notion. I believe it is an honor to excel at something to the degree that others wish to reach the level of the example you set. I write and speak about relationships. I spend my time coaching and counseling people on the importance of making deep and meaningful connections with others. I believe that there is nothing more sacred than the trust built between people based on shared convictions, definitions of happiness, and love. In my experience there are few things more destructive than the breach of this trust.

Human beings are fallible. "Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone" is a quote that speaks volumes. So is: "power = responsibility." For anyone hoping to someday be elevated to a position of great authority or influence, remember people rely on you. They don't necessarily depend on you being perfect but they certainly should expect honesty, humility, and responsibility. Oh, by the way, be honest before you are caught.

Steve McNair was murdered by his mistress. He left behind a wife and four kids. Glenn Richardson was so petrified by potential backlash that he attempted to take his own life. He is the father of three children. There is no viable excuse for infidelity. It is time for people to realize that in any relationship, particularly in relationships with your family, there are responsibilities to those with whom you are involved. No one is bullet proof.

Maybe Tiger Woods will work out his relationship with his wife. Perhaps Glenn Richardson will seek help. Mark Sanford may find his way. Steve McNair is dead. The reality these men share is that their children are forever affected by their actions. These situations have permanently altered how they as men and as fathers will be viewed. Not by us, the public, but by their families. They are who matter.

Take this opportunity to express to anyone in your life how much you love them. Let them know that despite your imperfections they can trust you. Convey with clarity and conviction that you will attempt to better yourself when you become aware of your shortcomings.

So Far, So Good

2009-12-08T21:48:00.004-05:00

I must say, this holiday season has been a blast. Thanksgiving was fun, the tree is up and decorated, and we now await our annual Christmas Party and the arrival of jolly old St.Nick.

I actually decorated the house the weekend after Halloween, I couldn't wait. This certainly has helped me stay more relaxed. Some may not appreciate my lighting skills, but my family loves it and that's what matters to me. Our tree is beautiful and the process of decorating it was spread out over a few days. Again, an anxiety reliever.

I have been committed to making the holidays of 2009 an enjoyable time. I love my family and I love this time of year. The last thing I want to be is a stressed out controlling bastard who sabotages Christmas for everyone. Up to now, mission accomplished. Sharing this motivates me to continue this process. Thanks for reading!

Gratitude Post #6

2009-11-25T06:08:00.000-05:00

Alas, we have reached the final week of gratitude posts. I hope you have enjoyed this tradition as much as I have. I also hope this has helped you to see your life with a little better perspective. Let's all commit to stay more aware of the good in our lives and help to share that with others. Week 6, here goes:

I am grateful to be physically, spiritually, and mentally healthy and fit
I am grateful to have a beautiful family to share my life with
I am grateful to have crossed paths with so many wonderful people
I am grateful for all of the vocational opportunities I have
I am grateful for the perspective I have gained from some trying experiences in my life

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and Holiday season. Take the time to share joy and happiness with anyone you come across. This is one way we can all make a difference.

Gratitude Post #5

2009-11-17T20:10:00.000-05:00

Wow, this is #5! Unbelievable, for this project there is one more post next week. I'll say it again, but thanks to everyone who has participated. Maybe we can think of something for the upcoming holiday season? I, for one, will be posting tips every day between Thanksgiving and Christmas, so stay posted! So on with the gratitude!

I am grateful to be able to connect with people through collective gratitude
I am grateful to have so much support in pursuing my dreams
I am grateful to have had the opportunity to live in so many places in our beautiful country
I am grateful so many people are willing to share their experiences in order to benefit others
In deference to my blog post yesterday, I am grateful for my chickens!

I look forward to reading your posts soon!

Gratitude Post #4

2009-11-12T11:37:00.000-05:00

In this, my latest installment of the Gratitude post, I am going to focus on some aspects of my work that I absolutely love. I can’t wait to see yours!

I am grateful to be in a line of work that allows me to build lasting relationships with some extremely interesting people
I am grateful I constantly have the opportunity to provide support and guidance to folks who are always looking for ways to improve themselves
I am grateful my job involves a lot of laughter
I am grateful I get the constant reminder that no matter what I place value on, my success and happiness will ultimately be defined by the relationships I build and maintain
I am grateful I get to share my thoughts of gratitude with you because I know for right now we are connected by appreciation

I hope you get the opportunity to pass it on. The more people we have thinking about gratitude, the better.

Raised Bed Update

2009-11-07T20:46:00.007-05:00

It's been a little while since I've given a raised bed update, so here goes. As always, the video version is below.

In our raised beds we have planted lettuce, carrots, radishes, spinach, turnips, onions, mustard greens, broccoli, and brussels sprouts. So far we have eaten lettuce and radishes. We are looking forward to harvesting more soon. It is a joy to extend our growing season, I love having fresh produce from our yard.

We also have four chickens and this week they have begun laying eggs. Our urban homesteading adventure has taken off and we are very excited! BTW, I am a big fan of autumn in Georgia and have included a couple of bonus photos.

Gratitude Post #3

2009-11-04T08:53:00.002-05:00

As a reminder to all of you, I am continuing a tradition I learned about last year from Tia Graham. The tradition is posting a five item gratitude list every Wednesday up toThanksgiving. So far there are several others joining in, so enjoy reading, and hopefully participating, in the spread of gratitude. Here's my list for the week:

I am grateful there are so many ways to meet and connect with people today
I am grateful I have had the opportunity to attend several events this year at which I have met so many new and fantastic people
I am grateful for the smell, taste, and effect of my absolute favorite beverage......COFFEE!!!!
I am grateful to be alive at a time when there are so many technological breakthroughs
I am grateful for my wife's discovery and research in to urban homesteading. The garden and the chickens have provided many family bonding opportunities and endless entertainment!

I can't wait to read your lists, they are an inspiration!

Gratitude Installment #2

2009-10-27T21:24:00.006-04:00

I am grateful to have seen Neuschwanstein in the Alps shrouded in fog
I am grateful to be learning to scuba dive
I am grateful I live in beautiful North Georgia
I am grateful to have seen Bayern München in person
I am grateful for the wonderful unschooling community (thank you for the support and inspiration)

I know I'm a day early, but I had the opportunity!

41?

2009-10-23T15:54:00.004-04:00

Today is my 41st birthday. Someone asked me earlier today if I "felt" 41. Interesting question. I realize the implied question was "Do you feel old?" I remember asking people the same question when I was younger. My, how things have changed!

As I enter my middle-age years, I realize I have no clue what aging is supposed to "feel" like. Sure, there are physical differences, unfamiliar life challenges, and the growing cognizance of mortality. C'est la vie.

I actually LOVE my 40's so far. I have discovered much about myself in the past couple of years. The cumulative life experience combined with my unwillingness to grow up has made life extremely fun. My wife, daughter, and I have found so much recent adventure. My life is filled with wonderful relationships and fresh perspectives. I am actually looking forward to what's around the corner more now than at any other time in my life.

For those younger, there is much to look forward to. To those who are older, thank you for blazing an amazing trail. For everyone, as we continue to venture along the path of this glorious life, let's continue to guide, teach, and share through all of our experiences!

Share the Gratitude!

2009-10-21T11:11:00.001-04:00

Last year I got the idea to write a weekly gratitude post on my blog leading up to Thanksgiving. I read about it on another blog and loved the idea. Sandra Dodd joined me, and this year I would love as many people to participate as possible. Let's link up our blogs and share the gratitude.

Do whatever feels good to you, what I am going to do is post 5 things I am grateful for every Wednesday leading up to Thanksgiving. It's a fun tradition I hope you will share with me! So here I go:

I am grateful for my wonderful family
I am grateful I get to participate in so many groups
I am grateful I have so much support from friends
I am grateful I live in Georgia and get to experience these beautiful fall days
I am grateful I get so many opportunities for adventure

It is a joy to share my gratitude with as many people as possible. I look forward to reading everything you share!

A New Diving Adventure!

2009-10-05T17:47:00.004-04:00

This post is from our latest diving adventure on the way home from Disneyworld. We stayed in Gainesville, FL. because it put us close to some great spring dive spots. Devil's Den is close by as are Ginnie Springs and the place we wound up, Troy Springs.

If you check out the link for Devil's Den, you'll be able to see why we decided to move on. It is a great place but as inexperienced divers it was a little dark for us. Maybe we'll go back some other time. We didn't have time to visit Ginnie Springs and found out Shelby was too young to dive there anyway. Oh well, on to Troy Springs!

Our day started off at the Extreme Exposure dive shop in High Springs, FL. This is where we rented our tanks and weights. The folks there were great. They were extremely helpful and patient. They were also able to give us some useful information about different versions of buoyancy control devices. One of the things I love about diving is that there are a lot of helpful people. It's a fun little sub-culture!

When we arrived at Troy Springs, we were pretty excited. It was a week day, so we unschoolers pretty much had the place to ourselves. As is the case with the other springs we have visited, the water was very chilly. It was about 68 degrees. It was a hot Florida day, so the cool water was refreshing at first.

On both the dives we went on, we didn't go very deep. There was a giant hole that probably went to a depth of 70'. The rest of the pool was between 4' and 10'. There was a slope leading into the hole but none of us had the intestinal fortitude to investigate. We saw a bunch of turtles and several fish. The real treat at Troy Springs is a sunken Confederate ship. The Confederate army sank the boat in order for it to not be captured by the northern army. The boat is close to the river so we were able to drift in the current to see the boat. It was a definite highlight.

It was great to be able to stay under water for an extended period of time and gain more experience with our equipment. We all get more comfortable each time we have the opportunity to dive. Troy Springs was a lot of fun and worth the trip. I love being able to share these experiences and look forward to sharing many more. Until next time!

Great Week, Glad to Be Home

2009-09-26T21:24:00.003-04:00

I love our family's Disney week tradition. Every year we pack up, drive to Orlando, and enjoy a sweet escape. For the Stonebraker family there are few things as enjoyable as a week with the mouse. It also provides me with an opportunity to reflect on the previous year.

One way our family life is different is that we took up scuba diving. On our way home from Disney, we stopped at a place in Florida called Troy Springs State Park. It was fun. We didn't dive very deep but we were able to spend some significant time under water getting used to our equipment. The other thing I love about learning to dive is that it has introduced us to another wonderful culture. The diving community is as rich and diverse as any other group our family is a part of.

I'll write more about our latest dive experience in another post, in this one I want to focus on growth. This has been an incredibly educational year for me. I have made some changes in my professional life and continued to push myself in personal growth as well. I decided a while ago that I needed to expand my horizons a bit and although it is uncomfortable at times, there have been many payoffs. I appreciate the close relationships in my life more, I certainly feel more gratitude for my family, and I am much more focused on continuing to challenge myself rather than settle for the status quo.

I am more sure today than I ever have been about what is important to me. I want to experience as much as possible. I never want my fear to stop me from pursuing my goals. I want to rise above the seductive pull of succumbing to the judgment of others. What does this have to do with Disney? To me Disney, in its essence, represents all of these characteristics and more.

Every year on my family trip to Disneyworld I relax, have fun, and gain perspective. I see the world from a child-like view and a lot of things become possible. I am reminded that this is the only life I will live and the priority is to live in joy.

First Day of an Awesome Week

2009-09-19T09:05:00.004-04:00

My family and me are in Orlando for our annual Disneyworld trip. We look forward to it every year. This is the stuff I love writing about and sharing with people. I enjoy my life so much and love talking about it.

This year we are staying at the Pop Century resort.

It's fun because it is huge and always packed with families. No matter what time of day, there is always a din of laughter, running around, and playing. The buzz is constant.

We spent our first day at Discovery Cove. Even though it isn't "Disney", it is spectacular! Discovery Cove has a snorkeling pool, a pool in which you can hang out with rays, and its pinnacle attraction: the dolphin swim. It's the second time we've done it, but it was just as fun as ever.

The day ended with going to the show, La Nouba. Any Cirque du Soleil show is amazing, and this one did not disappoint. The physical skills these performers display are sensational. It was a great show. If you ever have the chance to see La Nouba, I would definitely recommend it.

This is definitely one of my favorite times of year. Coming to Disney in the fall is a great way to celebrate the year and lead into the holiday season. We love it.

P.S. Here is a link to my Flickr page if you want to see more photos!

Raised Beds- Day 4, Job Well Done

2009-09-08T22:58:00.003-04:00

Video below.

Well, we're finally finished. After almost a month, with a vacation in the middle, our raised bed project is complete! We put the finishing touches on bed number three, moved 12 yards of dirt, and planted the seeds. Wendy said, "This is the biggest project we've undertaken since having a child!" She's absolutely right.

No one would ever accuse us as being the "handy" family, but we were certainly ambitious. We had committed ourselves to getting this completed and we did. Good for us! Everyone contributed and we will all benefit. I look forward to our first harvest, I will certainly share it with you!

Diving Adventures!

2009-08-29T22:21:00.009-04:00

As always, there is a video below if you prefer!

The Back Story

Shelby,Wendy, and I have been going through the process of scuba certification. We finally got certified almost two weeks ago. It was a challenge at times, but very gratifying when we completed the training. We took our PADI course through a local dive shop, Underwater Adventure. They were very helpful, I'm grateful Wendy and Shelby found them.

One of the reasons we pushed to complete our certification course before last week was because of the family vacation we had planned. We were taking our annual trip to Okaloosa Island, Florida and wanted to dive in the Gulf of Mexico. This whole idea of scuba diving is very new to us, we had never talked about it before a few months ago! So we rented our gear and off we went!

The first day in Florida, Wendy called to set up our first dive. We found a place in Panama City that could take us out to some jetties. Apparently this is great for beginning divers, they refer to it as "the kiddie pool." As luck would have it, Wendy became ill and we had to postpone our dive.

Wendy's illness lasted a couple of days and toward the end of it, the weather went south. By the time she was feeling better, the shop where we had planned our dive cancelled their trips due to low visibility. We were bummed. Little did we know the proverbial silver lining to the cloud which was coming our way!

After a little research we decided to look at Vortex Spring. Our local shop takes trips there,

so we had at least heard of it. We called and found out it probably suited what we were looking for a little bit better anyway. We made our plans and off we went!

Dive Summary

We originally planned three dives. Shelby's certification only allows her to go 40', so we planned our dives for 35'. In our dive plan (refer to the PADI site if you need an explanation) we set up for three 30 minute dives with 30 minute surface intervals in between. Again, refer to PADI for a real explanation but basically the surface interval is to make sure there isn't too much nitrogen in your blood. Feel free to comment if I am wrong!

One of the points of planning a dive is to make sure you are safe and know where your parameters are. This way you can have a lot more fun without having to burden yourself with unnecessary worry. "Plan well Kimosabe," a wise man once said! Things may not always go exactly to plan, but you will be a lot more secure.

Our first dive was fun. It took me a minute to get comfortable with my buoyancy control, I didn't have an instructor there cajoling me. We settled in at about 6' where we all adjusted. From there we swam off and explored. Vortex is beautiful. The water is 68 degrees year round and crystal clear. There are caves and other places to swim through, along with a wide variety of fish. We looked at fish, swam around, and had a good time. Our maximum depth on dive # 1 was 20' and we stayed down for 30 minutes.

Our second dive was also an adventure. We swam to the opening of the spring, which apparently goes to a depth of around 150'. It was a little freaky looking into the abyss! We were all a lot more comfortable, we swam around much more freely. On this dive, Shelby had a little trouble equalizing (ask our friend PADI) so we mainly stayed at around 12' to 15'. Our maximum depth on this dive was 25' and we saw a lot more. We stayed down about 33 minutes on this dive, we had to surface once for Shelby's ears to feel better.

In Closing

All three of us loved the entire experience. Everything worked out exactly as it needed to. Even Wendy's unfortunate illness enabled us to wind up at Vortex.

We are already looking forward to our next dive. Maybe we'll try the gulf again, maybe some more spring or quarry diving. Either way, we have found another activity we all love which opens the door of adventure even wider!

Raised Beds- Day 3

2009-08-23T19:20:00.003-04:00

Again, if you prefer, the video version is below.

Technically this was probably the fourth or fifth day, but who's counting. We worked on bed #2 for about an hour two days during the week.

This bed was particularly challenging since the slope increases downhill. However, we were able to meet these challenges and continue to make progress.

I love what we are doing. This has involved the entire family and there are several gratifying moments as we meet and overcome obstacles. I am looking forward to getting the seeds in the ground and reaping the fruits of our labors! Either way, we are enjoying ourselves and learning a lot. I hope you enjoy tracking our progress, I'll keep posting about this until we have the project completed. Until next time, happy building!

Raised Beds- Day 2

2009-08-11T21:45:00.006-04:00

This is the latest installment of Project:Raised Beds. If you prefer, there is a video version below.

We have finally completed the first bed. This is by far the most ambitious project we have taken on, but I am really enjoying myself. Where we are placing the beds, on a major slope, is bringing up several challenges. There are a few places that wind up being a little off, but the beds will still be very functional.

The only things left to do on the first bed are installing the PVC pipe, filling in the gaps, laying down some newspaper, and putting in the soil. We are going to get some good organic soil as soon as all of the beds are ready. I am loving this and can't wait to finish!

Raised Beds- Day 1

2009-08-09T21:09:00.003-04:00

Wendy and I decided to build some raised garden beds. We have been growing some of our own vegetables for a few years, but with the inspiration of some friends have decided to increase our production. Our family has become progressively more conscious of what we eat and how we purchase food, so this is a logical step. It falls in line with our new "urban homesteading"attitude. We've also begun raising chickens, so you can probably catch my drift. Enough back story!

Wendy has done the majority of the research. She found a lot of great sites with good, easy to follow instructions. Of course we are facing several obstacles along the way; we're building the beds on a slope, it's the dead of summer, and we're not the handiest family in the world!

We are having fun, though. Right now we are focused on getting the first bed completely finished.We are building three in total. All of the beds will be 4' wide by 14' long. Our goal is to be able to fill them in this weekend so we can begin sowing some seeds for fall crops. We are installing PVC pipe so we can have hoops over the beds to be able to grow through the winter. For us this is all a little ambitious, but I love a good stretch. If you would rather see the video version, check below!

A Wonderful Time

2009-02-06T22:37:00.005-05:00

It has been an amazing couple of weeks. Things at Insight have been great, I am continuing to learn more and more about presenting as a speaker, and I continue to connect with some amazing people. Most importantly two events have clarified why life is so joyous.

First, my beautiful daughter, Shelby, turned 10 years old.She is an amazing child. Her intelligence and spirit allow Wendy and me the opportunity to connect with her in ways beyond the capacity of someone Shelby's age. These 10 years have been incredible. Every day is a beautiful experience. Thank you Shelby.

Second, my good friends, Glen and Shannon Schendel, welcomed their first child into the world. She is a beautiful 9lb. baby girl. I look forward to getting to know her and forming our relationship. Glen and Shannon will be wonderful parents, their daughter is a lucky girl. I figured this was an appropriate picture for this post. I am sitting here tonight filled with gratitude. I hope you are, too.

Clear Purpose

2009-01-05T11:50:00.003-05:00

I am posting to clarify the purpose of this blog. I haven't posted here for awhile because I haven't been sure of what I want it to be. My other blog that I post on regularly is great and it's very personal. However I leave a lot of family details and other personal tidbits out of it because its point is to reach a broader audience.

I love to write about my life. I love to write about my life in detail. There are certain places where that is not appropriate. That is where this blog comes in. I love my family. I love discussing unschooling. I love to discuss the whimsical, weird, and fun stuff we get into. I want to do this without having to think too much about it. So, thanks for letting me share and I look forward to connecting with all of you more and more.

It's Been Awhile

2008-10-27T17:55:00.002-04:00

I haven't written on this site for a while now. I don't quite have the hang of writing on multiple blogs. Right now I am focused on my main blog, which is clintstonebrakerblog.com. I am going to keep this one but for now go to the other one. I love it and think that it's pretty cool. Let me know what you think!

From the Minds of Children

2008-09-24T22:54:00.002-04:00

We are currently at Disneyworld and as always it is the time of our lives. We have had several memories made and plenty of stories to tell. I will elaborate in future posts about all of this but my topic tonight is different.

It will be difficult to do Shelby's perception justice, but I will give it an attempt. She is always fascinated with the way adults speak to and discipline their children. She does not comprehend why people threaten, hit, or angrily yell at their children. As a family we certainly have our heated moments but we aren't violent or threatening with one another.

The other night Shelby and I were wrestling. Often when we play like this she will mimic recent experiences in her life. At one point in this wrestling match, Shelby decided that it was time to spank me. As she started my well deserved punishment she also grabbed my ear. I couldn't figure out why she was doing this. When I asked her about it she said she had seen parents punish their children by holding on to their ear. I realized that she has no idea what the sensation of a spanking or an ear pulling is.

As amused as I was by this awareness, I was also very grateful. Not only has Shelby never had to experience this kind of violent interaction with her parents, she sees these actions as being incredibly ridiculous. The minds of children are so perceptive and generally right. Violent actions taken against children are ridiculous. These actions are unacceptable and NEVER justified. May your children never be subjected to acts of violence to coerce behavior.

Mixed Emotions

2008-09-06T20:42:00.006-04:00

Alas, Live and Learn is drawing to a close. As I sit and reflect on the past week a few things stand out. First, this way of life, radical unschooling, is life as it is meant to be for me. To be able to spend the time with my family that I do, to meet the people I have met along the way, to be able to explain a wonderful way of life to those who ask, and to be safe to share my thoughts and ideas.

To me radical unschooling has absolutely nothing to do with an educational option. Pardon my language, but fuck that. I wouldn't diminish my child's life to such a condescending statement as "Wendy and I chose radical unschooling as an educational alternative for our daughter." What a terrifyingly arrogant statement. Yet it is a statement that is made daily. It is not my place to choose an educational direction for anyone other than me. Where, when, why, or how someone CHOOSES to learn is none of my business. Not even "my" daughter's.

This doesn't mean that I haven't experienced my share of fears or doubts as to how Wendy and I are "raising" Shelby. But when put underneath the self-loving and self-honest microscope I realized that those fears were completely based on someone else's definition of "child-rearing." By the way, what exactly is "child-rearing?" It's not like we're talking about chickens, we are talking about HUMAN BEINGS.

This is what I like to refer to as the illusion of parenting. Let's not confuse providing a helpless living being who is a product of shared cells, DNA, etc. with property. I consider myself fortunate that I am physically capable of providing for a dependant person. To me it is a way to be of service and provide love. I particularly like Bob's description of "being able to love my love." Because we participate in procreation doesn't mean we have the right to smother, direct, or demand behavior from our children. It simply means that we GET to love our love. For those who adopt, the same way of thinking applies. You choose to be of service to humanity by providing sustenance to someone who desperately needs it to survive. "Step" parents? You, too.

My point is this. Enjoy yourself. I know it gets scary and stressful sometimes, so deal with it. For those that are looking forward to becoming parents, ask questions and remove the fear. Most of that is just mislabeled excitement anyway. Find people who see the world and see children as you do and find safety and comfort in those relationships. Above all honor yourself, your partner, and your children by remaining in a place of love and gratitude. That is what comes naturally.

P.S. I have a new post on another blog I think you will enjoy, so please check it out!

Home Soon!!!!

2008-08-15T10:19:00.002-04:00

I have now been in Phoenix for ten days. Wendy and Shelby stayed home, I think this year's travels and our upcoming trips led Shelby to "just say no" to this one. I miss them tremendously and am excited to get home on Sunday.

The trip has been phenomenal. I did a workshop for Pathway the first week which I think went very well. The format was a little different than it has been but the feedback I received was very positive. We also had the staff pool party and that was a blast. The staff has gotten really close and it is obvious that they are of one mind in building the program. Seeing the Lieberman's was a real treat as well. It reminded me of the thrill and anticipation that happens through pregnancy. What a blast!

The Jack Canfield seminar I am currently attending is phenomenal. I have met so many wonderful people, many of whom I'm sure I will have long-standing relationships with. This entire year has represented stepping outside of my comfort zones. From the RU-Fun week, in which I was in close quarters with people I didn't know that well, to this week , where I and many others are processing many useless belief systems, I am putting into practice many of the things I talk about a lot.

I will have much more to say on all of these topics in the near future, so in the mean time I will leave you with this. By reading this blog , know that I write all of these words with genuine love and compassion. I am excited to share my life and experiences with all of you. My hope is that others benefit from what I have to share. We do all make a difference. We do make the world a better place. Our love is that strong and powerful. Let someone know how important they are to you.

Talk to you soon!

"I Don't Know!"

2008-07-30T08:47:00.004-04:00

Last night I browsed through some of the RU Fun pictures on the Flickr site. I love seeing these pictures along with my own because I get to see the retreat from other's perspectives. We may all be looking at the same thing but it changes through different eyes.

In going through the pictures, I ran across a couple of one of my new buddies. I talk and write all of the time about the significance of paying attention to those with whom we connect but some people have more of an impact than others. This isn't good, bad, or otherwise it just works out that way. I make an effort to appreciate all relationships that I develop. Some people make it very easy to do.

Anyway, after being at the retreat for a couple of days, talking and playing I became progressively more comfortable. I was approached by a little girl who kept challenging me with physical feats such as spinning, jumping, and tumbling. At 39 these acts are a bit more challenging than they once were but I pulled it off. This continued for a while and we wound up hanging out the rest of the afternoon and evening. Me and my new friend went and helped my wife and daughter, we walked around the campsite saying hello to people, and we jumped on inner tubes. At one point I asked her how old she was and her response was "I don't know!"

To me that was the most brilliant response to a quintessentially adult question that I had ever heard. This little girl never stopped laughing or having fun. She brought joy and happiness to everyone with whom she made contact. For me, to be reminded that it makes absolutely no difference what someone's age is, what their level of education, or their "future aspirations"is of undeniable value. My life is fun and free when I am able to answer questions like "How old are you" with a care-free and enthusiastic "I don't know." When I am grateful and appreciative not only do I not know but I don't care.

Thank you, Mia!

Oh, Canada......

2008-07-21T18:29:00.003-04:00

Tis not my home, nor my native land, but I did have a wonderful week in our neighboring country to the north. When my family and I first heard about the RU Fun week we couldn't wait. For Shelby and me it provided us our first opportunity to leave the country. For all of us it provided an opportunity to meet some families we hadn't met before and become closer to some others we already knew.

Within this simple week we accomplished all of these goals. Not only were we able to reconnect with some familiar faces from past Live and Learn conferences, we also got to meet a lot of the Northwest and Canadian crowd. What a fantastic group of people. I don't know if I have the words to describe how truly wonderful it is to be able to spend a week with such a beautiful group of people in such an amazing setting. For my family I know that this event has not only brought us closer but it has enriched our lives in so many other ways.

I am a firm believer in that the more people we are able to lovingly connect with, the better the world in which we live. Regardless of what common interest brings a group together, when the members of that group are able to drop their walls of self-protection and truly connect, everyone benefits. The laughter of children, the embraces, the dancing, and the conversations all provided an air of safety and security that most people yearn for.

I am reminded how important it is to have these types of relationships and how I need not take them for granted. Far too many people sabotage their own lives as a result of isolating themselves out of fear or judgement. I refuse to miss the precious moments of my life and the celebration of spirit that comes from human connection.

Thank you Craig and Gillian and everyone else who was at Salt Spring Island last week. My life is truly better as a result.

....I Was Just Thinkin'......

2008-07-05T12:27:00.003-04:00

Recent days have brought on many joyful experiences, which of course will create many more. This summer has been a whirlwind of activity. From Shelby piercing her ears, to the events that led to the Traaseth family moving to Georgia, my trip to St. Louis, and the Meehan's trans-Atlantic cruise aboard the Queen Mary2 , wonderful events have taken place in my life and the lives with whom I am intimately connected. In the past couple of weeks I have found out about the Liebermann's and the Schendel's being pregnant. Recently, Steve and Heather have gotten engaged. Finally Mike and Morgan Pierce were given the opportunity to move to Kansas City to further their personal and professional lives and they took it.

With many of these situations comes a feeling of pure joy. I love being connected enough to people to be able to share in their excitement for the wonderful things that happen in their lives. Because of these relationships I am able to learn and grow not only from my personal successes, but also from the successes of others. How awesome is that?! I know that I either choose to involve or exclude myself. IT IS ALWAYS ME WHO MAKES THAT CHOICE!

As I go into this upcoming week, the event I am looking forward to is the Are You Fun un-schooling non-conference in Salt Spring Island, B.C. I absolutely love any event that involves the un-schooling community. The kids are pure joy. The families are in touch with what is truly important. Their shared love and experiences. That is also true in the programs in which I am involved. When my priorities are straight, it is pure joy and love. Even when scary or sad circumstances arise, I am empowered by the connections of love and understanding I have as a result of my relationships.

The bottom line is that my life is unbelievably good. I am grateful for my beautiful and supportive wife. I am grateful for my thoughtful and exciting daughter. I am grateful for my patient and understanding in-laws. Finally, I am grateful for all of the people with whom I GET to share my life and who so selflessly share their lives with me.

I hope that is how YOU roll.

The Joy of Manpri's

2008-06-29T21:29:00.002-04:00

Ah the joy of manpri's. You know shants, clam diggers, or any other name they may go by. For years they have been considered a fashion faux pas by American "manly" men. Over the past couple of years on our Disney World trips I started to notice that many of the European men were wearing manpris. They seemed quite comfortable, as I would have imagined, and very secure with their masculinity. I started my manpri hunt but came to realize that most Americans were not yet ready to accept this particularly comfortable article of clothing as "mainstream." Those that know me are aware of what little concern I have for the"mainstream' so my hunt continued. Finally, after two years of trying, I found my source. In America we had to come up with a way for these pants to be respectable from the male point of view. So they are called "climbing" pants. Mountain Hardwear. Whatever they are called, I will call a spade a spade. They are MANPRI'S and they are awesome. Don't fear them, embrace and accept them. I love my manpris and always will.

New Blog

2008-06-25T10:39:00.003-04:00

I have just started a new blog in addition to this one. This one will remain invitation only so that I can continue to be more personal, so don't worry about any weirdo's gaining access. At the same time I want to make sure that I don't shoot myself in the foot marketing wise out of my own petty fear. The other blog is called The Fearless and Joyful Life. It will be a little more professional and centered on marketing but I will certainly be myself. So visit it often to see what's new and continue to visit here for a more personal side of mine and my family's lives. By the way, Kelli I wasn't trying to steal your title! I just realized how close our titles are. I am so sorry! If you want me to change my title, I will. Let me know. OOps!

Inspired?

2008-06-20T21:08:00.003-04:00

Sitting with my family tonight I was suddenly struck with a feeling of overwhelming joy and gratitude. They,through just being themselves, allow me the opportunity to always be aware of how good my life is. At any point I can think about or get around them and be immersed in absolute love. Shelby is an incredibly gifted and headstrong nine year old. She definitely marches to the beat of her own drummer. Wendy, with her beauty and intelligence, constantly pushes me to be a better person. I know that the three of us enhance each others lives and bring each other joy.

Any person has the choice as to what will affect them. Anyone can shift their perspective and become inspired at any point. For most it is a matter of rising above whatever self-centered fear they are choosing to allow to control their life. Along with my family, I am surrounded by people who are in a constant state of self-improvement. Because I choose to connect with such forward moving people I am never able to justify remaining in a state of self-pity. I'm not saying that I don't try to from time to time, I'm saying that I can't justify it.

To find inspiration is simple. Existing in an inspired state is a habit. It has to do with how we choose to think. When I am thinking about the people I love, everything I have to look forward to, the wonderful memories I have, and the beautiful world I live in I am inspired. I must remember that I can get to this blissful state whenever I want. I only have to remember how.

Drama Queens and Real Rock Radio

2008-06-15T11:58:00.003-04:00

I spent the past week in St. Louis, which is one of my favorite places in the world. Great food, great people, and the best radio station ever; K-She 95. Nowhere will you hear as much Sammy Hagar, Rush, or REO Speedwagon as you will in St. Louis on K-She. I love it. They thumb their nose at what is supposedly "relevant" in music and play what they love. Rock on K-She.

I went to St. Louis to do another seminar based on my book and a book signing. It also gave me the chance to spend some time with the staff at Crossroads, an adolescent drug treatment program in St. Louis. Leading up to the week there was a little bit of fear of possible disruption. There are a few people who were at one time associated with programs like the one I own who have left and made it their life's purpose to sabotage the work that we do. Being the sensitive person that I am, if I get any indication that someone doesn't like me, I become very bothered. Most of the time that is a very easy emotional state to deal with, but if I get caught off guard it can send me into a tail-spin.

I did go into the week feeling very prepared. For one, I love my book. Being able to share myself that intimately has been extremely rewarding. The seminars have been an extension of that feeling and every time I do one I feel as if I have grown immeasurably. Although I had never done a book signing before, I had a lot of confidence going in because Kerry and Jim Winkelmann had done an awesome job of preparing the event. It was set up at a great coffee shop, Wired Coffee, and the Winkelmanns took care of invitations and other details.

For the entire week Mike, Megan, and Desiree were awesome. Every detail was taken care of. The hotel that held the seminar was perfect. Everything along the lines of organization was extremely smooth. I was able to focus on the tasks at hand because I didn't have to worry about anything else. Following through with these events was a huge deal. The terrorists had been threatening to sabotage both events. They sent letters and made phone calls to the hotel. They called the owners of the coffee shop. For the first time I was able to see these people through objective eyes. The hotel manager and the owner of the coffee shop saw these people for what they are; terrorists holding on to sour grapes. They didn't feel at all threatened and were more annoyed than anything.I was able to meet Rose Jonas who gave me great perspective on the whole situation. Not only were there no problems at either event, there was a ton of validation that if I choose to become afraid at the threats of angry and irrational people, I am being a drama queen. The only action taken by these people was a guy that used to work for me taking my picture with his cell phone and then scurrying off. Wow.

Getting to spend time with the staff at Crossroads was a big time highlight of the trip. What a wonderful group of unbelievably talented and exciting people. They have a tremendous amount of power and do great work with the families who come to them for help. As they continue to gain more confidence their ability to provide solid guidance will only continue to grow. It's fun to be around people who so clearly love what they do.

As I mentioned before, what a wonderful week. Hopefully it was as beneficial to other people as it was for me. I am home now very satisfied and grateful.

Exciting Times

2008-06-09T19:10:00.002-04:00

What a busy few weeks! The in-laws just left on a European cruise, our good friends, the Traaseths, just left town, and tomorrow I leave for St.Louis. First of all, what a wonderful week we had last week. The Traaseths came down from Minnesota in search of a new home. Most of us know what a frightful time that can be, wrought with insecurity. Unfamiliar surroundings coupled with the pressure of buying a home is a daunting situation to face. Wendy, Shelby, and I hoped to be able to provide a little bit of security and calmness to this family at a strange time. By the way, the Traaseths are a family we met through the Live and Learn unschooling conferences.

Not only were the Traaseths able to use our home as a base, their children stayed at our house most of the week. What a pleasure and joy. I have dedicated my life to helping teenagers and their families, so to be able to open my home to three wonderful children, and for them to feel comfortable and secure, was truly a gift for my family and me. We haven't known each other for too long but our families really connect. Wendy, Shelby, and I were able to open our lives with ease and the Traaseth family made that so much easier just by being themselves. For that, we are grateful.

Tomorrow I head to St.Louis. I get to spend some time with some people that I haven't seen for a while. To be able to visit somewhere to share my experience with so many people that I love is an honor. I have been doing a series of seminars for about seven months based on my book and St. Louis is my next stop. As a part of this trip I get to spend a lot of time with the staff at Crossroads. This is an unbelievably dedicated and loving group of people. I can't wait to get there.

The bottom line with all of this is that I get to live a very exciting life. Whether it is through the people I have grown close to as a result of my work or through the relationships I have built through the unschooling community, I always have a ton of experiences to look forward to. I am fortunate to have a beautiful wife and wonderful daughter with whom to share these experiences. What I would share with anyone is to be true to your passions and to always pursue those things that bring you joy. Although situations will come up that are scary and decisions that are difficult to make, your pursuit of happiness will always prevail. Anyone who tries to sabotage this pursuit does not deserve your mental energy. Do not give it to them. Live your life and enjoy what you do. Rock hard!

A New Review and a Giant Whatevs

2008-06-05T21:44:00.004-04:00

This is a copy of a review of my book that is in the current edition of Midwest Book Review. Having a positive review in this publication is a big deal because Midwest Book Review is very reputable in the publishing community. Here is a part of the review:

Why struggle? It's needless suffering that many people go through with their relationships when they could be happy now. "Relationships for the Intimately Challenged: Connecting with Family, Friends, and Co-Workers to Create a More Joyful Life" is a guide to help all readers make the most of their relationships instead of pettily fighting over the problems that come up through the course of life – to celebrate the joy that is there to begin with to make relationships tighter and more fulfilling overall. "Relationships for the Intimately Challenged: Connecting with Family, Friends, and Co-Workers to Create a More Joyful Life" is highly recommended to community library self-help collections and for anyone who wants more out of their relationships.

I was really excited when I saw this. As we all know, doing something new can be very daunting and scary. One of the best lessons in this whole "I'm An author" thing is that it reminds me to put my money where my mouth is. I talk all of the time about the importance of taking risks and following your passion. This is something that I believe in very strongly. The fact of the matter is that I am a giant wimp. Despite being a wimp and at times wanting to crawl in a cave and hide, I continue to take risks.

To my fear, I give a giant whatevs. It doesn't need me to feed it. By giving it a whatevs I empower my self to continue to take the risks that are necessary for me to continue to grow and change. I am fortunate to lead a life that enables me to be surrounded all the time with people who tell fear to f-off and give it a loud, resounding whatevs. I love ya'll and have an extraordinarily wonderful evening!

Have a Little Fun

2008-06-01T21:50:00.007-04:00

The past few weeks have been very interesting for me to say the least. From being terrorized to having dear friends deal with real tragedy, it has been an emotional roller coaster. Through all of these circumstances I have been reminded of what is, and always has been, important to me. Near the top of the list, of course, is having fun. Along with the emotionally trying situations there have also been some fun, weird, and rewarding events as well.

First of all, about two weeks ago I decided to shave my head for the summer. Joining me in this endeavor were Glen and Matt. I had no idea that I would be that into having a shaved head, but I LOVE IT. I may never go back. Maybe it will just be a summer cut but we'll see. I am pretty into it.

Also, a few weeks ago Wendy, Shelby, and I went to one of our favorite vacation spots in the world, Pigeon Forge, TN. Yes, the famous home of Dollywood and countless variety shows that no one has ever heard of. The capital of high culture in the mountains of eastern Tennessee. If you haven't experienced Pigeon Forge or Gatlinburg, TN. you are seriously missing out. Try to imagine Branson, MO. without the lake but in the mountains. By the way for those of you out west, there are REAL MOUNTAINS in the south and the east.

Any way, on this trip we experienced two things that I have never done before. One thing we did is the Zorb. Check out the link, it is awesome. It is a huge ball that you get inside of and get rolled down a hill. The other thing we did is called Fly Away. It is kind of a sky diving simulator. You are inside a tall padded room with a fan underneath the floor that blows at about 120 miles per hour. I have never been sky diving before but it was definitely a fun sensation. All three of us loved it. The entire trip was a blast and we were able to just completely relax. We played miniature golf, went to an aquarium in Gatlinburg, and drove up for a day in Knoxville. It was a wonderful week for all of us.

Finally, after a couple of strange days after we got back, we started preparing for the Traaseths from Minnesota to visit. The Traaseth family are a fellow unschooling family who we met at the Live and Learn conference a couple of years ago. Shelby really connected with Kyra, a girl close to Shelby's age. Over time we have gotten to know the family better. Wendy and Shelby visited the Traaseths a couple of months ago at their home in Bemidji, Minnesota. Now, through a wonderful series of events, it appears the Traaseths are moving to Georgia. Wendy,Shelby, and I have always talked about how fun it would be to have a like minded family that lived close to us. Now, not only is that happening, it is a family that we love and they may be moving into our neighborhood! What a wonderful turn of events.

The lesson in all of this for me is to remember to remain aware of where I allow my attention to go. When I focus on my faith and knowledge that the universe is all rewarding and filled with love and life, things go better than I can ever imagine. When I am focused on my hurt, fear, and anger it feels like the shit never stops hitting the fan. I suppose that is true when my head is lodged so far up my own ass that the only fans I have are covered with shit. The point is that I love my life 99% of the time. The 1% that I don't, I have no one else to blame but me.

Everyday it is vital that I find a different version of shaving my head. Whether it is trying something new like Kathy, taking leaps of faith like Kelli and Tim, or facing life with the courage of Marcos and Ashley, I have examples all of the time. So friends, let's keep each other fired up. Let's do what we love and you know the rest!!!

Love,

Clint

Welcome Friends

2008-05-31T16:18:00.002-04:00

It is weird to have an invitation only blog. However it is kind of a blessing in disguise. I started doing this out of a desire to share my life with people, so this way I am able to be more intimate. I want to be able to describe events of my life in a manner that is beneficial to those of you who choose to read this and to myself. Everyone I have sent an invitation to, I trust immensely. Therefore if there is anyone who you would want to read any of this, get me their e-mail address and I will invite them to. I rather enjoy the opportunity to spread love, joy, and positivity in as organic a manner as possible anyway. So as you read different posts know that it was written with love and enthusiasm. Let's all enjoy our lives and live by one of my favorite quotes ever: "Do what you love and fuck the rest!" (Quote from Little Miss Sunshine.)

My Article in Life Learning

2008-05-27T21:47:00.003-04:00

I wanted to post a link to an article that was published in Life Learning magazine this month. The link is to a PDF of the May/June edition of the magazine. The article is on page 30. The tone is centered on parenting, but even if you're not a parent the message is cool. The title is "Learning Through Effective Communication." I also included the picture I used which I love. Hope you enjoy!

Who Is This Person?

2008-05-26T21:24:00.002-04:00

Allowing fear to run our life is like demonic possession. I mean real deal, no bullshit, pea-vomit spewing demonic possession. Any time I have ever allowed myself to become consumed by my fear I seriously do not recognize who I am. The past few weeks have been quite strange to say the least. From dealing with people holding on to sour grapes to friends having to face real tragedy, I am now in a position to put my life in true perspective. To remember what is really important to me is a priority that cannot be diminished.

A few weeks ago some people from my past resurfaced. Whether this reappearance was due to their becoming aware of my new book or simply that they felt galvanized with a deeper level of hatred and resentment, they resurfaced none the less. They began an attack that primarily centered on harassing e- mails to my employees and employees of similar programs around the country. Pure terrorism. This same situation happened years ago and many of us got really scared, having never dealt with anything like this before. In fact many people became angry and wanted to know how we were going to deal with these people. It has been a great feeling to be connected to the love and support that we all have for each other.

Last night I turned to Wendy and asked, "Do you think that we are making a bigger deal out of this than what it really is?" She said yes. I knew underneath all of my bullshit fear that only I can choose to buy the wolf tickets these harbingers of terror are trying to sell. I have known all along that these people have zero power. I know that the work that I, and everyone I am associated with, do is unbelievably important and good. We have committed our lives to providing love and genuine healing to people. We have chosen to follow the lead of a man and woman whose love has created an opportunity for us to build wonderful lives for ourselves that are beyond our comprehension. There is nothing of which to be ashamed. There is nothing to fear. There is no one to answer to other than those whose lives rely on our ability to stay out of ourselves and give selflessly.

I am proud of what I do. I apologize to no one. I am always willing to change, to grow, and to learn. I sure as shit will not allow a few old, resentful, and sad people force me to change anything. My life is mine and I choose to live it riding the comforting waves of love. I commit myself to sharing my spirit with anyone with whom I come in contact. Finally, I assure anyone who happens to read this that I will never allow the power of negativity to stop me from doing what I love. God, however you choose to define it, is everything or nothing. With this awareness we shall always live with the knowledge that we are in the right place at the right time for the right reasons. Although I lose sight of this at times, I always come back. I love all of you and may your bountiful blessings continue always.

Beautiful Lessons

2008-05-15T08:27:00.002-04:00

My life has been filled with many different kinds of lessons. Some have been difficult to comprehend, some I have just made difficult. What I love is that these lessons can come from such diverse sources. I am a firm believer in the fact that the human experience is one that is ever-teaching and my responsibility to me is to pay attention. I don't always like what is in front of me. I don't always understand why certain situations spring up the way that they do. I sometimes react very poorly to people or circumstances that create discomfort within me. One extremely valuable lesson that I have learned is how incredibly important it is to be aware of those with whom I am surrounded. We sometimes need the motivation that comes from seeing those we love continue to move forward and enjoy their lives despite circumstances that are painful. Our greatest teachers are our children. They deal with more adversity than any adult could possibly bear. They are not yet equipped with the emotional tools needed to transcend fear, hurt, or disappointment, yet they do. In a time when we see adults succumb to depression, anxiety, drugs, alcohol, and a number of other fear related disorders, children continue to deal with life exactly how we as adults should. They take a step back, get things back in perspective, and PLAY. Have a wonderful day and by all means enjoy yourself and do something FUN!!!!

Oops

2008-05-15T07:52:00.000-04:00

I was changing some settings last night and accidentally deleted my blog! I apologize for this and promise to go much slower in the future as to not repeat the same mistake. I will be posting later, there is some fun stuff to write about. Check back with me!